Another cherished tradition in Hawaii is going down the tubes.

If I wasn’t grumpy already it would make me that way.

The people who sign wave for politicians are not having fun and we have to fix that.

These people are only having a little bit of fun.

First, wonder where they come from?

Most are supporters, family members, bored old people who have been nagged by friends.

Some are union members who have been assigned a morning or afternoon to wave signs for one of that union’s endorsed candidates.

Yea, it happens.
A lot.

Over the last couple of weeks I’ve come to a decision:
The sign wavers  on Kam Highway must really hate what they’re doing.

Where Kam Highway splits and heads up toward Mililani is a nice, prime piece of real estate.

Whoever gets there first in the afternoon can stake their candidates claim to all the cars going by.

Since I travel past this bit of grass every afternoon I’ve seen a good sample of signs for just about everybody running for some office or another.

No one has done much more than stand there.

Sometimes the sign is all by itself.

And no babes.
Yup, you must have some babes.

That’s in the rule book, somewhere.

What we have is small groups of bored people looking at their watches.

Sometimes they sit under the only tree with their signs stuck in the ground or propped up against something.

Yes sir, that’s how to get folks to vote for that person.

Sign waving is a time-honored tradition in Hawaii and I’ve certainly done my share for the Mayor, the Governor and a few council members.

Here’s how it’s supposed to be done.

Listen up so you can pick out the pros from the deadbeats as you drive by.

1) You better show up all ready to go. Or go home.
You’re supposed to be enthusiastic.

2) You are supposed to WAVE.
That’s the waving part of sign waving.

3) The trick is look them in the eye as they drive by.
Give them a shaka or wave just to them.

4) Sometimes it works good if you point to the driver and then wave.
No one can ignore someone pointing at them.

5) Smile and mouth something like “Hi” or “Aloha”.

I found you can also mouth a few dirty words with them thinking you’re saying something friendly.
That’s good fun and makes time fly.

If you don’t do that you’re hurting your candidate.

One time some friends and I stood along Kalanianaole Highway dressed as clowns and a jack ass.

I was the jackass.
Typecasting at it’s finest.

The three people at the end of this line held signs that said:
“If you don’t vote”
“You’re stuck with”
“What you get.”

A lot of people honked.
They liked it and went to work less grumpy.

And just for once – wouldn’t be nice to have someone different running for office then the same people every time?

Fat chance.