Sometimes I just don’t learn.
Part of my charm, I guess.

Here I go again.
It’s a yearly thing.

A couple of days before Christmas and I’ve got to get my butt off the couch and hit the stores or all the wife will get is a lump of coal.

This close to December 25th should see some good bargains.

Of course they’ll be the usual rude, push-and-shove mobs to go with them.

It’s too late to shop on-line so I’ll just have to take my biggest, baddest cane and wave it around like a mad man.

If I look grumpy maybe people will stay out of my way.

It hasn’t worked before but hope springs eternal.

Once again the wife says, “Don’t spend any money on me this year.”

I’ve been married long enough to know better.

There are two choices with her – jewelry and jewelry.

I tried clothes one year and the size, color and style were all wrong.
Lesson learned.

And a new pan is not her idea of a Christmas gift.
Another lesson learned.

So to all us guys who procrastinated ourselves into this position…you’re out of time.
Giddy up.

Go to a decent jewelry store, throw yourself at the mercy of a salesperson, if you can find one, and hope they gift wrap.

Women do not understand that guys don’t “shop”.
We “buy” and there’s a world of difference.

If they only understood how difficult shopping is for us they’d appreciate it more.

Yeah.

Merry Christmas.