Lighting up the world

Looking-inside-my-head-sizedI should have my head examined.

Not that anyone would find much of interest inside.

The wife has this thing for flashlights.

They’re scattered all over the house.

She breaks them so I buy her more.

I walked around the house yesterday and counted maybe a dozen broken or otherwise non-working flashlights.

That means there are probably a total of 1,837 flashlights here and there.

We could light up a village somewhere.
If they worked.

I’m not sure what she actually does with them but I’m fairly sure she hasn’t mastered the off button.

Almost all the flashlights have dead batteries.

Instead of getting new batteries, she tells me her flashlight doesn’t work.
So I buy her a couple more.

many-flashlights-sized1The pile gets bigger.

It’s almost a standard item I get at the hardware store – like light bulbs for her bathroom and nails, and screws and stuff like that.

I’ve spent between $1.49 and $50 for a flashlight.

Sometimes in packs of three…or more.

If the house ever caught fire the fire department would probably evacuate the entire neighborhood because of the danger of hazardous fumes from burning batteries.

Windup_flashlightYears ago she tried one of those flashlights you shake to charge it up.
It was broken in a week.

I have a four-year old Coast flashlight I keep in my office desk drawer.

It works just fine.

I’ve seen her look at it with longing more than once.
She can’t have it.

1 – it works, and
2 – she’d break it or whatever

There’s an answer to all this – somewhere.
It’s not in the song “You Light Up my Life.”

Trying to find it is making me grumpy.

One thought on “Lighting up the world

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.