I’m a sweetheart

There’s no way to save up brownie points earned with the wife.
Any husband will tell you that’s a universal truth.

You only have to be grumpy once to wipe out all the good stuff you’ve done over the previous weeks, months and sometimes years.

Grumpy-sizedThis is the big difference between men and women.

My guy friend gets grumpy on me – I forgive it because he once bought me a beer.

I get grumpy around the wife for 10 seconds I’m in deep trouble because she reminds me I was late picking her up once back in 1995.

If that doesn’t work she has a long list of others transgressions she’ll gladly drag out from some dusty brain area where this stuff is forever stored.

Some going back to the Last Supper.

If her girlfriend gets her upset, all is well 10 seconds later.

The only reason must be our brains are wired differently.

She calls me a grumpy old man.
Of course I’m not.

If fact her girlfriends think I’m delightful but I, of course, was never late picking them up before.

You would be grumpy too if you were old and all your parts don’t work as well as they used too.

But the fact is most old people aren’t grumpy.
We just look that way.

That’s what gravity does after 60+ years.
Things get pulled down.

Catch us standing on our head and we look pretty good.

Many are hard of hearing.
Too many years of rock-and-roll at the pain level.

Old people aren’t ignoring you – they don’t hear you.

As for me, my hearing isn’t as bad as the wife thinks.
Sometimes I’m just tuning her out.

When she’s nattering on about one of her girlfriends sanity demands I turn if off.

Other times I’m concentrating on something and it’s like she’s on another continent.

It’s amazing how she scolds the grandchildren not to interrupt someone when they are busy but I suspect that doesn’t apply if you’re over 18.

I realize that doesn’t explain the go-to-hell rudeness some old folks throw your way.

I suspect they were rude people all their life and now they don’t care if it shows.

Here’s the scientific reason: only the good die young so all that’s left are the crabby ones.

Since old folks don’t see, hear or move well, most people ignore them and that makes the grumpy, loud ones stand out.

I’m not grumpy – but the trouble is, you only have to be grumpy once to wipe out your entire reputation of being wonderful.

Now, get off my lawn.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.