{"id":1215,"date":"2014-02-24T05:30:49","date_gmt":"2014-02-24T15:30:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=1215"},"modified":"2014-02-23T17:34:42","modified_gmt":"2014-02-24T03:34:42","slug":"say-what","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=1215","title":{"rendered":"Say what?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"deaf-grumpy-old-man\"<\/a>The wife thinks I should get a hearing aid.
\nI pretend I don’t hear her.<\/p>\n

Of course she says that proves her point.<\/p>\n

Not really.<\/p>\n

There’s a difference between ignoring and not hearing.<\/p>\n

I will admit\u00a0I do have a small hearing deficiency.<\/p>\n

It comes when you get older and things get rusty and the moving parts run out of grease.<\/p>\n

I have a couple of fans, a lawn mower\u00a0and one dog in the house like that.<\/p>\n

My doctor says the ear is full of stuff with strange names like utricle and saccule and they all move together in mysterious\u00a0and wonderful ways.<\/p>\n

The lady is a scientific genius.<\/p>\n

And this stuff gets old just like me.
\nAnd when things get old, just like me,\u00a0they aren’t interested much in moving around, just like me.<\/p>\n

Then there’s the small thing of a decade\u00a0being a disk jockey with my headsets at full volume.<\/p>\n

Okay, that can knock a few high frequencies out of my stuff that move.<\/p>\n

But I’m not deaf.<\/p>\n

Outside of confusing words that star with\u00a0C, D, E, G, P and sometimes Z, I do fine.
\nWhen I have problems with half the alphabet,\u00a0I might rethink my position.<\/p>\n

As long as I’m not in a noisy room, I also do fine.
\nBut nobody can hear anyone in a noisy room anyway.<\/p>\n

Stay home and don’t talk to people works great.
\nThere’s a certain Zen happiness in peace and quiet.<\/p>\n

\"Hearing-horn\"<\/a>But a hearing aid?
\nSeriously, why would I want that?<\/p>\n

What’s it do?
\nIt makes things louder.<\/p>\n

I can’t hear you?
\nSpeak louder.<\/p>\n

Problem solved and look at all the money I saved.<\/p>\n

You’d think this would make her happy because her frugal nature.<\/p>\n

Also, I’m showing some fiscal responsibility for once in my life.<\/p>\n

Nope.
\nShe wants me to hear every word when she gets into one of her lengthy, go-on-forever stories about she and her girlfriends swapping gossip at lunch, including what they wore, the complete menu and her 3rd grade report\u00a0about growing beans.<\/p>\n

I’d rather buy something shiny with lots of moving parts instead of a hearing aid.
\nSticking anything except a finger in my ear sounds weird to me.<\/p>\n

Considering the inane stuff some people have to say, a man-toy\u00a0sounds like a better buy.<\/p>\n

If she wants me to hear her, just speak up.<\/p>\n

Of course that makes her grumpy.<\/p>\n

Too bad I can’t hear her.<\/p>\n

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