{"id":1509,"date":"2014-05-05T05:30:29","date_gmt":"2014-05-05T15:30:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=1509"},"modified":"2014-05-04T17:17:24","modified_gmt":"2014-05-05T03:17:24","slug":"why-old-people-stop-driving","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=1509","title":{"rendered":"Why old people stop driving"},"content":{"rendered":"

I think I need a new car.<\/p>\n

I like my Jeep and it’s only two years old but there’s not enough\u00a0room for the wife.<\/p>\n

When I bought it, the first thing I did was rip out the back seat so I’d have some space to carry my stuff.<\/p>\n

A man always needs to travel with some of his stuff.
\nOne never knows when\u00a0one might need it.<\/p>\n

\"Backseat_driver1\"<\/a>But the occasional time the wife rides with me, it’s isn’t big enough.<\/p>\n

It needs a back seat for her backseat driving.<\/p>\n

I went to a wedding Saturday night.<\/p>\n

I don’t normally go to weddings and funerals.<\/p>\n

I prefer to remember people when they are single and alive.<\/p>\n

My preference.
\nWhat can I say.<\/p>\n

The wife caught a ride with friends so she could get there early and socialize.<\/p>\n

I got there when the food was ready, which is always the best time to get anywhere.<\/p>\n

Showing extraordinary good sense, the newly wedded couple didn’t have one of those two-hour slide show presentations of their life, so we got out at a reasonable hour.<\/p>\n

Bless them.<\/p>\n

\"Backseat<\/a>But then all the way home…<\/p>\n

“How come you’re going this way?”
\n“Last time I came out here I used that other turn.”
\n“Are you sure you’re supposed to turn here?”
\n“You sure waited a long time to put the brakes on.”<\/p>\n

I’m going where the expensive, answer-your-phone, check-the-weather GPS is telling me.<\/p>\n

Unless it’s into a creek I’m happy with it picking the route.<\/p>\n

Take if from a guy that’s been married for seems like a million years –\u00a0telling the wife to put a sock in it doesn’t work.<\/p>\n

Sweet things like her don’t like it.<\/p>\n

It’s the fastest way to the doghouse and I won’t need an expensive, answer-your-phone, check-the-weather GPS\u00a0to find it.<\/p>\n

In a situation like this there are two choices:
\nAnswer each comment with something sweet or something sarcastic.<\/p>\n

Throwing up and saying you’re very sick is also an option but I don’t know any guy who would willingly barf in\u00a0his own car.<\/p>\n

Anyway, one will keep\u00a0her happy but chatty all the way home.
\nOne will bring peace and quiet in the car followed by death and destruction later.<\/p>\n

I’ll leave it up to you to figure out the proper one for your particular situation.
\nChoose wisely.<\/p>\n

Pleading deafness from old age doesn’t work either.<\/p>\n

That just shifts the entire one-sided conversation to getting a hearing aid.<\/p>\n

That’s why old people stop driving and why us old guys are grumpy.<\/p>\n

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