{"id":1733,"date":"2014-06-23T05:30:03","date_gmt":"2014-06-23T15:30:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=1733"},"modified":"2014-06-22T18:04:40","modified_gmt":"2014-06-23T04:04:40","slug":"sorry-soccer-is-a-snoozer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=1733","title":{"rendered":"Soccer is a snoozer"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"soccer1\"<\/a>I finally have figured out soccer.<\/p>\n

I sat through my first full game yesterday armed with popcorn, soda and my easy chair.<\/p>\n

I kept falling asleep.
\nIt’s a bit slow, isn’t it?<\/p>\n

The United States was playing Portugal and since I’ve been to both countries I figured this was a good time to share my love of these two great nations and learn something too.<\/p>\n

I think I got it.<\/p>\n

Here’s what I understand so far –<\/p>\n

People run around a lot.
\nDreadlocks and beards are a big thing with the players.<\/p>\n

Not much happens for a very, very\u00a0long time.
\nSo much running around, so little results.<\/p>\n

It’s the most successful nap-making machine I’ve found.<\/p>\n

Once in a while some guy on the side of the field waves a flag.
\nThat stops everything for a second while everyone tries to figure out way.<\/p>\n

The players appear to choose what color of shoes they want to wear.
\nMaybe there’s a reason for that but it escapes me…but they look expensive.<\/p>\n

The wife would like that.<\/p>\n

\"soccer2\"<\/a>Players get kicked in their privates a lot.<\/p>\n

While the opposition can seem to zero in on that spot easily, they apparently find it difficult to kick the ball into a very big net.<\/p>\n

Maybe it’s because they’re trying to stay away from the other guy’s foot.<\/p>\n

I can’t say I blame them.<\/p>\n

Even with all this I\u00a0understand it is the world\u2019s most popular sport.<\/p>\n

Maybe it’s because you can play it with just about anything round that can be kicked.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s the perfect game for children who have a lot of energy to spare.
\nIt’s the perfect game for old folks to watch on TV and fall asleep.<\/p>\n

In the end it’s like watching a chess match.
\nOr bowling.<\/p>\n

Or my dog licking himself.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not complicated.
\n\"soccer3sized\"<\/a>It doesn\u2019t require much equipment or organization.<\/p>\n

While I still have some trouble\u00a0understanding the sport I understanding the napping part and I like that.<\/p>\n

Sorry if I made you soccer fans grumpy.
\nActually, I’m not.<\/p>\n

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