{"id":1927,"date":"2014-08-29T05:30:42","date_gmt":"2014-08-29T15:30:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=1927"},"modified":"2014-09-04T15:44:59","modified_gmt":"2014-09-05T01:44:59","slug":"i-am-not-resting-comfortably","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=1927","title":{"rendered":"I am not resting comfortably"},"content":{"rendered":"

I was cruising the internet looking for something, anything interesting.<\/p>\n

Here’s something…
\nJoan Rivers “Resting Comfortably” After Cardiac Arrest.<\/p>\n

Wow.
\nA) Hope she’s going to be ok
\nB) What a bunch of baloney<\/p>\n

Stick with me on this.<\/p>\n

Back a bunch of years ago, before I started the original Channel Two Morning News, I was doing medical reporting.<\/p>\n

\"Great<\/a>The camera guy and I were following an ER doctor around at Kaiser.<\/p>\n

The subject of the story was “what’s all that stuff they do as a part of a physical exam?”<\/p>\n

Everybody knows about a doc sticking their fingers here and up there and listening and looking.<\/p>\n

But what is it when he or she taps your chest?
\nThese were the mysteries we were going to unravel.<\/p>\n

Oh Lordy I was feeling bad that night.
\nSick as a dog would not adequately cover it.<\/p>\n

Finally the doc glances at me and says, “You okay?”
\nCan’t keep anything from the sharp eye of medicine.<\/p>\n

I run through everything going on including the pain in my lower right area and other things that should lead to a quick and accurate diagnosis.<\/p>\n

He says, “You probably got a bug of some sort. You’ll feel better in the morning.”<\/p>\n

Thanks.<\/p>\n

Interview over and we head back to the station, edit the story and I go home.<\/p>\n

Two o’clock in the morning I wake up with everything on fire.<\/p>\n

So I take myself back to the ER at 4 in the morning.
\nToo bad he wasn’t still on duty.<\/p>\n

The new doc takes one look at me and says ruptured appendix – take this bad boy to the OR.
\nStat.<\/p>\n

No one even asked about my insurance.<\/p>\n

The next day the surgeon who was called out of bed to fix me says he spent 4 hours cleaning up the mess inside.<\/p>\n

I liked that guy and thanks to his mother for teaching him to be neat.<\/p>\n

\"in<\/a>So, here I am…
\nLaying in the hospital bed, tubes running in and out, drugged to the gills and thinking I’m dying cause a lot of things hurt, a lot.<\/p>\n

Six o’clock and time for the news with Joe Moore.<\/p>\n

They run my story and afterwards he says, “Courtney Harrington had a bout of appendicitis but he’s ‘resting comfortably’ in the hospital tonight. We send him our best.”<\/p>\n

“Resting comfortably”?<\/p>\n

My insides are on fire, they won’t give me ice cream and none of my friends will sneak me a beer.<\/p>\n

I think I’m dying and he’s saying I’m “resting comfortably” – and nothing about being a great trooper and doing the story.<\/p>\n

Point of all this –
\nJoan Rivers is not resting comfortably.
\nI feel for her.<\/p>\n

No one in the hospital ever rests comfortably.<\/p>\n

Spokespeople always say someone is resting comfortably.
\nThat’s because they don’t want to say the patient is hurting and grumpy and having to use a bedpan.<\/p>\n

If they were resting comfortably they’d have been sent home with some pills and a very large bill.<\/p>\n

So Joan – hang in.
\nAt least one person really knows how you feel.<\/p>\n

Update: Joan Rivers was removed from life support and died on September 4th. Rest in peace.<\/p>\n

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