{"id":2044,"date":"2014-10-09T05:30:16","date_gmt":"2014-10-09T15:30:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=2044"},"modified":"2014-10-08T20:05:14","modified_gmt":"2014-10-09T06:05:14","slug":"wheres-my-stuff","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=2044","title":{"rendered":"Where’s my stuff?"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m beginning to wonder what I’m doing wrong.<\/p>\n

I follow a couple of popular blogs in some areas that interest me.<\/p>\n

I do have other interests beside hugs and naps.
\nReally.<\/p>\n

The big thing with these blogs now is ethics.
\nOkay.<\/p>\n

Not that most bloggers have any, but these folks write about certain industries.
\nThose industries give them free things like trips, dinners, gadgets.<\/p>\n

Now they have my attention.<\/p>\n

So, many of the bloggers have a page listing the freebies they’ve received and whether they ended up writing an article about the company.<\/p>\n

The answer is usually yes.<\/p>\n

This is an interesting concept.
\nGimme stuff and I write about you.<\/p>\n

How come I don’t get free stuff?<\/p>\n

Geesh, I’d write 400 Pulitzer prize-winning words about how great a company is for a lousy pen.
\nThink what I’d do for a trip to Japan for me and the Misses.<\/p>\n

Well, except Zippys.
\nI’m too pissed at them to ever take anything free to say good stuff.<\/p>\n

And maybe Big City Diner too because of their crappy patty melt.<\/p>\n

And most politicians.<\/p>\n

And the folks that make the Airbus tin can plane.<\/p>\n

They are now planning to make some of the restrooms on their planes smaller so they can squeeze in more seats.<\/p>\n

No more mile high club.
\nOne person will barely fit and forget two.<\/p>\n

Another cherished tradition lost to the almighty profit column.<\/p>\n

I have ethics.
\nIt’s too late to change and write good stuff about those guys.<\/p>\n

Anyway, back to the matter at hand.
\nEverybody is getting free stuff except me.<\/p>\n

Even the number of hugs has dropped to an all time low.<\/p>\n

It’s getting to the point I might as well stay in bed.<\/p>\n

\"Your<\/a>This blog is the #1 item to show on Google when you look for “Grumpy Seniors”.<\/p>\n

That should be worth something from the denture, supplement and leaky bladder folks.<\/p>\n

Of course I don’t need any of that stuff yet so that stuff is not high on my payola-for-words list.<\/p>\n

Instead, may I suggest some creative thinking.<\/p>\n

\"I-dont-leak\"<\/a>How about a round trip to Europe for me (the writer) and the wife (the boss) to study how old folks use their products in faraway places?<\/p>\n

We can hang out in some bars and see what happens after people have too many beers or whatever they drink in these magical counties.<\/p>\n

I could make a great viral YouTube video of people running down the hall.
\n“Look! No leaks!”<\/p>\n

We can have some Ensure with our $1,000 dinner at 5-star restaurants in Hong Kong.<\/p>\n

What a great endorsement that would be.<\/p>\n

\"Fine-DIning\"<\/a>“Ensure simply goes with everything. Every meal we had was\u00a0complimented by its smooth, velvety taste. I can’t think of a better beverage to go with our meal. Ensure made us feel so good we swam from Hong Kong to Japan. We then climbed Mt. Fuji in our underwear in 10-feet of snow and finished off the evening by bringing lasting peace to the Middle East.”<\/p>\n

Old folks have plenty of time on their hands and usually a few bucks because the kids are out.
\nDon’t ignore them.<\/p>\n

As for those trips –
\nFirst class please.<\/p>\n

You wouldn’t want me to be grumpy when I write about you.<\/p>\n

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