{"id":2298,"date":"2014-12-29T06:43:26","date_gmt":"2014-12-29T16:43:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=2298"},"modified":"2014-12-29T06:45:41","modified_gmt":"2014-12-29T16:45:41","slug":"lighting-up-the-world","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=2298","title":{"rendered":"Lighting up the world"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Looking-inside-my-head-sized\"<\/a>I should have my head examined.<\/p>\n

Not that anyone would find much of interest inside.<\/p>\n

The wife has this thing for flashlights.<\/p>\n

They’re scattered all over the house.<\/p>\n

She breaks them so I buy her more.<\/p>\n

I walked around the house yesterday and counted maybe a dozen broken or otherwise non-working flashlights.<\/p>\n

That means there are probably a total of 1,837 flashlights here and there.<\/p>\n

We could light up a village somewhere.
\nIf they worked.<\/p>\n

I’m not sure what she actually does with them but I’m fairly sure she hasn’t mastered the off button.<\/p>\n

Almost all the flashlights have dead batteries.<\/p>\n

Instead of getting new batteries, she tells me her flashlight doesn’t work.
\nSo I buy her a couple more.<\/p>\n

\"many-flashlights-sized1\"<\/a>The pile gets bigger.<\/p>\n

It’s almost a standard item I get at the hardware store – like light bulbs for her bathroom and nails, and screws and stuff like that.<\/p>\n

I’ve spent between $1.49 and $50 for a flashlight.<\/p>\n

Sometimes in packs of three…or more.<\/p>\n

If the house ever caught fire the fire department would probably evacuate the entire neighborhood because of the danger of hazardous fumes from burning batteries.<\/p>\n

\"Windup_flashlight\"<\/a>Years ago she tried one of those flashlights you shake to charge it up.
\nIt was broken in a week.<\/p>\n

I have a four-year old Coast flashlight I keep in my office desk drawer.<\/p>\n

It works just fine.<\/p>\n

I’ve seen her look at it with longing more than once.
\nShe can’t have it.<\/p>\n

1 – it works, and
\n2 – she’d break it or whatever<\/p>\n

There’s an answer to all this – somewhere.
\nIt’s not in the song “You Light Up my Life.”<\/p>\n

Trying to find it is making me grumpy.<\/p>\n

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