{"id":2399,"date":"2015-01-26T07:40:10","date_gmt":"2015-01-26T17:40:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=2399"},"modified":"2015-01-26T07:37:38","modified_gmt":"2015-01-26T17:37:38","slug":"meet-the-honey","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=2399","title":{"rendered":"Meet the honey"},"content":{"rendered":"

Want a boyfriend but you’re too lazy to get one?<\/p>\n

Don’t want a boyfriend but you’re tired of people asking when you’ll settle down?<\/p>\n

\"Real<\/a>Lucky you – there’s a new service on the Internet.<\/p>\n

The Invisible Boyfriend.
\nThey have girlfriends too.<\/p>\n

Got your interest?<\/p>\n

You sign up for $25 a month and various people will text you pretending they’re\u00a0your boyfriend (or girlfriend).
\nYou can now wave around your cell phone saying, “See! I got texts! I am loved!”<\/p>\n

This is either genius or a sad comment on the world today.<\/p>\n

I’m leaning toward number 2.<\/p>\n

\"Invisible-Boyfriend-1-sized\"<\/a>You tell the company the name of the supposed boyfriend (or girlfriend).
\nI sorta like Xwzyski.<\/p>\n

Then how they look and stuff they should like.<\/p>\n

That’s it.<\/p>\n

This flies out to any one of hundreds of freelancers who are getting a few pennies to send you a text that matches your specific expectations and fantasies.<\/p>\n

\"Invisible-Boyfriend-2-sized\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Every text to you comes from someone different playing the part of Xwzyski.<\/p>\n

You never know who actually wrote it.
\nCould be another lady or an old coot like me.<\/p>\n

You can get 100 a month and that’s a lot of mushy stuff from other people all trying to be what you said you wanted.<\/p>\n

And since it changes depending on who is writing the text each time there can never be, you know, an actual conversation.<\/p>\n

This is really weird.<\/p>\n

I’m really having problems getting my head around it.<\/p>\n

Some people have gotten attached to their mystery person at the other end.<\/p>\n

I heard of a guy once that was in love with his toaster.<\/p>\n

And there are people who married their dog.
\nThat I can see.<\/p>\n

My wife once said if the dog I had at the time was human I’d probably marry her.
\nTrue, except I wouldn’t be happy with a wife that bites and poops on the rug.<\/p>\n

A guy in Japan married his computer.
\nI won’t get into blow up dolls or other things you find in little stores down a dark alley.<\/p>\n

The whole idea of this Invisible Boyfriend is to fake out your friends and relatives so they stopping bugging you to settle down.<\/p>\n

Actually, I find telling them to mind their own business works well.
\nAnd it’s a lot cheaper.<\/p>\n

Take the money you save and buy a good toaster.<\/p>\n

It’s all kinda sad.<\/p>\n

Enough to make you grumpy.<\/p>\n

Share this:<\/h3>