{"id":2430,"date":"2015-02-11T14:30:31","date_gmt":"2015-02-12T00:30:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=2430"},"modified":"2015-02-12T09:13:11","modified_gmt":"2015-02-12T19:13:11","slug":"valentines-more-than-you-ever-wanted-to-know","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=2430","title":{"rendered":"Valentine’s – more than you ever wanted to know"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Valentines-Day-logo\"<\/a>Ah, Valentine’s Day.<\/p>\n

It was all started by some florists in the United Kingdom as a way to\u00a0drum up business in the 18th century.<\/p>\n

Then candy makers got involved.<\/p>\n

Then America and Macys and Zales jumped in.<\/p>\n

And things got out of hand which means it was a commercial success.<\/p>\n

But its history goes further back.
\nLet’s look, shall we?<\/p>\n

It was a cold and crappy day.
\nGork was headed home after failing to snag a dinosaur for the family dinner.<\/p>\n

He knew he was going to catch hell from the lady of the cave for coming home empty-handed.<\/p>\n

The last time this happened he found some berries and escaped sleeping in the bushes outside.<\/p>\n

No berries to be seen.<\/p>\n

\"caveman-flowers-sized\"<\/a>But there was a flower thingy nearby.
\nMaybe if he took a few back they could eat them.<\/p>\n

Grok wandered into the cave with whatever passed for “Honey, I’m home” and waited for all hell to break loose.<\/p>\n

Mrs. Grok took one look at him and said whatever passed for “Oh, how lovely” and went looking for a vase.<\/p>\n

He dodged the bullet.<\/p>\n

But, being dumb as cavemen were, he forgot all about it.<\/p>\n

\"Cave-drawing-sized\"<\/a>Grunt, the eldest son, thought the whole thing was funny and scratched some pictures on the cave wall.<\/p>\n

Ten-thousand years later a florist on a hike found them.
\nThe rest you know.<\/p>\n

Not everyone thinks giving candy, flowers and jewelry is wonderful.<\/p>\n

Good grief, Christmas just ended.<\/p>\n

In Japan there is a group planning a protest march in Tokyo on Valentine’s Day.<\/p>\n

They say the event is a cynical money-making ploy by “oppressive chocolate capitalists”.<\/p>\n

By the way, the name of the group is Kakuhido, which translates roughly as the Revolutionary Alliance of Men that Women find Unattractive.<\/p>\n

In other words – men that can’t find a girlfriend or got dumped by one.<\/p>\n

Anyway, back to Valentine’s Day.<\/p>\n

Guys are supposed to give gifts to women.
\nThere’s nothing in the rule book about her giving stuff to men.<\/p>\n

Except in Japan (again) where women give candy to guys.
\nThe big deal there is trying to figure out how much candy to give each person.<\/p>\n

Apparently the wrong amount gives the wrong impression.<\/p>\n

Then in the 1980s the whole thing changed.
\nA candy company started March 14th to be “Reply” or “White Day”.<\/p>\n

Now Japanese men are expected to return the favor to those who gave them chocolates on Valentine’s Day.
\n\"valentines_and_white_day\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Here’s the kicker – they are expected to return gifts that are at least two or three times more valuable than the gifts they got on Valentine’s Day.<\/p>\n

Yes, women rule the world.<\/p>\n

Here’s hoping that doesn’t catch on here.<\/p>\n

No matter what you think – I’m a married man and this makes me an expert at this stuff – don’t forget Valentine’s Day or you’ll get the silent treatment.<\/p>\n

The disadvantages vastly outweigh the advantages.
\nTrust me.<\/p>\n

All of this is way too much information, isn’t it?
\nI made you grumpy.<\/p>\n

Welcome to my world.<\/p>\n

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