{"id":2590,"date":"2015-04-06T05:30:58","date_gmt":"2015-04-06T15:30:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=2590"},"modified":"2015-04-06T11:16:30","modified_gmt":"2015-04-06T21:16:30","slug":"the-science-of-shrinkage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=2590","title":{"rendered":"The science of shrinkage"},"content":{"rendered":"

I was poking around the backyard in the dark a while ago.
\nI was using one of the wife’s many flashlights.<\/p>\n

This is usually great fun because most of them have almost dead batteries and one never knows where the dog may have pooped.<\/p>\n

\"Dim<\/a>I did what you do when your flashlight gets dim.<\/p>\n

I whack it hard against something and all is well again.<\/p>\n

Using scientific deduction I have postulated batteries shrink as they are used.<\/p>\n

Hang in for a minute before you post this on Facebook – the proof is coming.<\/p>\n

I was talking to a physicist last week.
\nThe guy is an expert in batteries.<\/p>\n

A fellow scientist, so to speak.<\/p>\n

\"battery\"<\/a>So I ask, “Why do batteries shrink as they get used up?”<\/p>\n

He goes, “Huh? They don’t shrink.”<\/p>\n

“Yeah? They rattle after a while.”<\/p>\n

“Maybe the spring gets weak.”<\/p>\n

Got him.
\nOh yeah?<\/p>\n

Explain this…<\/p>\n

Why does a flashlight’s batteries rattle after you used them a bit and there’s a big monster spring inside?
\nHuh?<\/p>\n

Why does the light get dim but you shake or pound it – it gets bright again?
\nHuh?<\/p>\n

How come you swap out the batteries and the rattling stops but the spring has not had time to get strong again?
\nHuh?<\/p>\n

Doctor scientist changes gears saying it’s probably corrosion on the battery terminals.<\/p>\n

Bushwha.
\nThe guy could only shake his head.<\/p>\n

Corrosion – not after a week.
\nAnd that doesn’t explain the rattling.<\/p>\n

I have handed the scientific community a mystery that has been in front of its nose for many years.
\nOne it never saw.<\/p>\n

According to the Google index of all knowledge no one has ever asked that question before.<\/p>\n

It’s good to be first.<\/p>\n

\"pomegranate_battery_v01\"<\/a>Here’s a possible answer:<\/p>\n

Look inside this battery.
\nSee the\u00a0pomegranate seeds?<\/p>\n

They provide the power and as the electricity leaks from them the seeds get smaller.<\/p>\n

And as they get smaller the battery shrinks.<\/p>\n

If one of my wife’s girlfriends told her this she’d absolutely buy it.
\nI’m not sure my luck will stretch that far.<\/p>\n

But so far today – I’m not grumpy.
\nBut the day is young.<\/p>\n

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