{"id":2909,"date":"2015-06-19T05:30:01","date_gmt":"2015-06-19T15:30:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=2909"},"modified":"2015-06-18T17:41:22","modified_gmt":"2015-06-19T03:41:22","slug":"about-the-junk-in-your-trunk","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=2909","title":{"rendered":"About the junk in your trunk"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ladies –
\nLet’s talk about your booty for a moment.<\/p>\n

Heinie, rear, okole, posterior, bottom, rump, hindquarters.
\nWhatever.<\/p>\n

\"Big-butt-03-sized\"<\/a>I really don’t know what to think about this.<\/p>\n

Whenever I try my brain cells fizzle and my eyes threaten to explode.<\/p>\n

I’m trying to understand this thing with big butts.<\/p>\n

By big – I’m talking humongous.<\/p>\n

You know, buying your pants by time zones instead of size.<\/p>\n

I’m having real problems seeing anything that makes sense here…or there.<\/p>\n

I even had a beer or two in hopes that would clarify everything for me.
\nNope.<\/p>\n

Speaking as an expert at being a man – I can tell you most men enjoy a finely shaped derriere.<\/p>\n

Something that fills out your well-tailored jeans in a pleasant and aerodynamic way.<\/p>\n

Pleasantly pump is also quite nice.<\/p>\n

\"Big-butt-02-sized\"<\/a>This is not it.<\/p>\n

Injecting silicone, motor oil, Pepsi or an old rubber tube in there does nothing more than provide something to keep you afloat when the apocalypse arrives.<\/p>\n

This isn’t about women with a weight problem – it’s about people with a really strange desire to have the biggest tush in town.<\/p>\n

\"I<\/a>Now I realise there are some men who disagree and love a blimp hanging off their lady’s backside.<\/p>\n

Good for them.
\nEveryone’s different.<\/p>\n

I think they’re nuts.<\/p>\n

Let’s look at this scientifically, shall we?<\/p>\n

Many studies say a man\u2019s attraction to women with a\u00a0prodigious bum\u00a0is set in their genes.<\/p>\n

All the right stuff in all the right places makes the world go around.<\/p>\n

Yes, I just condensed a thirty page scientific report into one sentence.<\/p>\n

It’s all about a guy’s\u00a0perception of health and vitality and the ability to have children.<\/p>\n

\"Junky<\/a><\/p>\n

Sorry.
\nThat’s not where babies come from.<\/p>\n

And the stork isn’t involved either.<\/p>\n

This started with the skinny-obsession of the early 90s.<\/p>\n

Remember that?
\nMe neither.<\/p>\n

Somewhere between that time and now, it became socially necessary to have a big fanny because popular hip-hop\/rap music and the Kardashian’s made it so.<\/p>\n

Scientists also say they think it’s a passing fad.<\/p>\n

Let’s hope so.
\nBecause I don’t understand it.<\/p>\n

And thing’s I don’t understand make me grumpy.<\/p>\n

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