{"id":320,"date":"2013-09-04T06:00:48","date_gmt":"2013-09-04T16:00:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=320"},"modified":"2013-09-05T19:54:46","modified_gmt":"2013-09-06T05:54:46","slug":"hairy-ears-and-other-stuff","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=320","title":{"rendered":"Hairy ears and other important things"},"content":{"rendered":"

I have discovered a lot of strange things happen when you get older.<\/p>\n

Two of them are particularly distressing.<\/p>\n

All the stuff\u00a0hanging on your head get bigger and you have to shave your ears.<\/p>\n

I bet most people under 50 never thought of that.<\/p>\n

\"Yoda-hair-sized\"<\/a>I certainly never did when I was younger except to gawk at some of the old guys that were beginning to look like Yoda.<\/p>\n

Everything stops growing in your 30’s except for your nose and ears.<\/p>\n

Add that to the other stuff on your face sagging and it’s a ridiculous sight.<\/p>\n

That’s\u00a0your future, such as it is.<\/p>\n

In some Asian countries big ears denote wisdom.
\nFor instance, most statues of Buddha\u00a0have very large ears.<\/p>\n

All this tells me is I’m living in the wrong place.<\/p>\n

Most older guys don’t notice this until they’re shaving and the light catches everything just right.<\/p>\n

Yeah, that’s peach fuzz growing all over your ears.
\nMixed in with a few big, black hairs.<\/p>\n

Really gross.<\/p>\n

You think the wife would have said something.<\/p>\n

She’s never been shy about telling me to wipe my mouth at a restaurant.<\/p>\n

Other than checking my table manners in public I don’t think she looks at me much.<\/p>\n

For example I once had a mustache for years.<\/p>\n

One day I was trimming it with one of those electric mustache trimmers…at the wrong setting.<\/p>\n

One swipe and about a third of it disappeared, so I just shaved everything off.<\/p>\n

Here’s what I think: if\u00a0my wife suddenly lost a good portion of her facial identity I would notice.<\/p>\n

Not her.<\/p>\n

Six months later she was with me as I told someone how I used to have a mustache but shaved it off and the light bulb went on over her head.<\/p>\n

Back to ear hair –\u00a0 I went to the repository of all knowledge, the Internet, to find out why this happens.<\/p>\n

The scientific explanation is it’s a manifestation of the law of conservation of hair.<\/p>\n

When I was young the manly fluid filled my whole being, but as I got older a lot of it boiled off.<\/p>\n

So now it doesn’t even reach the bottom of my brainpan and the result is that hair grows in my nose and ears rather than on top of my head.<\/p>\n

One problem with this\u00a0theory is\u00a0I have all my hair, but one can’t be picky with a scientific explanation.<\/p>\n

Anyway, the day I discovered this hair I ran the razor blade over both of them and then had to put up with people at work asking me why my ears were bleeding.<\/p>\n

Save this knowledge for when you get old –\u00a0an electric razor works best.<\/p>\n

Always glad to help.<\/p>\n

Share this:<\/h3>