{"id":3217,"date":"2015-08-17T05:30:36","date_gmt":"2015-08-17T15:30:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=3217"},"modified":"2015-08-17T02:58:06","modified_gmt":"2015-08-17T12:58:06","slug":"spreadin-the-news","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=3217","title":{"rendered":"Spreadin’ the news"},"content":{"rendered":"

We have an important problem to tackle.<\/p>\n

I was driving through parts of Waipahu over the weekend.<\/p>\n

Concrete pillars were sprouting from the ground.<\/p>\n

Rail is coming.<\/p>\n

Whether you love or hate it – it brings an unexpected issue.<\/p>\n

\"manspreading-04-sized\"<\/a>Someday – whenever – our $23-billion, 7-mile rail might actually be done, guys are going to be sitting and…manspreading.<\/p>\n

Read that word carefully.
\nIt’s not what you first thought.<\/p>\n

Follow\u00a0me on this.<\/p>\n

New York City is upset with guys on subways.<\/p>\n

It’s running public service ads about guys being more dainty.<\/p>\n

\"Manspreading-01-sized\"<\/a>The subject is…”manspreading”.
\nThere’s that word again.<\/p>\n

That’s a guy sitting with his legs too far apart.<\/p>\n

It now can get you a ticket or some pissed off old lady hitting you with her bag.<\/p>\n

The idea is to stop rude guys from taking up more than one seat and therefore making grumpy New Yorker’s even more grumpy.<\/p>\n

If that’s possible.<\/p>\n

I lived in New York City for about two years a long time ago.<\/p>\n

Yeah, you don’t want to\u00a0get one of them upset.<\/p>\n

If you’ve ever ridden the subway in New York you know the whole thing will get anyone upset.<\/p>\n

There’s naked people, break dancing people, singing people, panhandling people and lots of pervert-type people.<\/p>\n

\"manspreading<\/a>So I can see the idea behind manspreading – but we need to discuss some basic anatomy here.<\/p>\n

Guys have stuff that don’t let them keep their legs together.<\/p>\n

To keep things delicate, we’re using a briefcase.<\/p>\n

But you know.<\/p>\n

Need I explain more?
\nAsk your mother.<\/p>\n

And the size of these things can vary.<\/p>\n

And we haven’t even got into fat guys yet.<\/p>\n

New York doesn’t care.<\/p>\n

Some guys have gotten tickets and some have gotten arrested.<\/p>\n

This is our future on the $49-billion 5-mile rail.<\/p>\n

You think manspreading is bad – wait until you see some 500-pound sumo-sized guy riding the $112-billion 3-mile rail.<\/p>\n

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