{"id":3398,"date":"2015-10-26T12:27:50","date_gmt":"2015-10-26T22:27:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=3398"},"modified":"2015-10-26T19:55:52","modified_gmt":"2015-10-27T05:55:52","slug":"halloween-without-candy-is-like-christmas-without-presents","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=3398","title":{"rendered":"Halloween without candy is like Christmas without presents"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’ve been had.<\/p>\n

Out witted…
\nOut played…
\nOut lasted.<\/p>\n

The wife finally wins a big one.<\/p>\n

\"Halloween<\/a>Halloween is something I look forward to with great anticipation.<\/p>\n

It’s the one time I get to make a big grab for candy.<\/p>\n

The wife lays in a stash for the monsters in the neighborhood and I get first dibs.<\/p>\n

For years she’s tried to cut me out of the process.<\/p>\n

She’s hid the stuff.
\nDidn’t work.<\/p>\n

She’s waited until the last-minute.
\nDidn’t work.<\/p>\n

She’s scolded and threatened.
\nDidn’t work.<\/p>\n

I’d always grab the best of the best leaving the stuff I don’t like for the neighborhood goblins.<\/p>\n

Then our kids came over for dinner and laundromat last Saturday night.<\/p>\n

The queen\u00a0of the house\u00a0asks the granddaughter what candy does she like to get at Halloween.<\/p>\n

\"Ramen\"<\/a>“Ramen”<\/p>\n

Ramen?
\nFor Halloween?<\/p>\n

What the hell is going on here?
\nSomeone call the press.<\/p>\n

My little princess\u00a0says everybody likes ramen and chips in their Halloween bag.
\nThat’s nuts.<\/p>\n

I’m sure keeping a nine-year old away from cavities and a sugar rush is a good thing, but you see where this is going.<\/p>\n

\"Kid<\/a>Now the wife says she’s gonna get Ramen and noodles and chips to hand out Halloween Eve.<\/p>\n

No candy.<\/p>\n

The neighborhood kids have been screwed.<\/p>\n

I’ve been screwed.<\/p>\n

Damn am I grumpy.<\/p>\n

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