{"id":3501,"date":"2016-03-03T17:50:52","date_gmt":"2016-03-04T03:50:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=3501"},"modified":"2016-03-03T17:50:52","modified_gmt":"2016-03-04T03:50:52","slug":"going-from-0-to-150-real-fast","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=3501","title":{"rendered":"Going from $0 to $150 real fast"},"content":{"rendered":"

The wife, lovely person such as she is, always complains I spend too much money.<\/p>\n

She’s a saver.
\nI’m a spender.<\/p>\n

Such is the way of the world.<\/p>\n

Sometimes I buy a toy for myself.
\nAfter all, he who dies with the most toys wins – and I still have a little room in the garage.<\/p>\n

But most of what I do is an attempt to make her happy.<\/p>\n

All men know it’s important to keep the wife happy or she’ll make sure you’re unhappy too.<\/p>\n

That leads us to the story of the garage door opener…<\/p>\n

\"Old-Genie-sized\"The one on our house is so old I believe it was first operated by a water wheel.<\/p>\n

Not only do they not make parts for it any more, the model number stamped on the side is in some stone tablet language.<\/p>\n

But it works and one should never mess with something that works or it might break.<\/p>\n

Then you have to try to fix it.<\/p>\n

You see this coming, don’t you.<\/p>\n

The wife doesn’t like the remote control to open the door.
\nShe says the stuff in her purse can push the button and open the door.<\/p>\n

Considering what she has in her purse I’m not surprised.
\nI believe I once saw a frying pan and a 1931 Hoover vacuum cleaner in a side pocket.<\/p>\n

She’s one of these ladies that has a purse the size of an overnight bag and still carries two other bags with her when she leaves the house.<\/p>\n

I’m never sure if she’s going to the store or moving to Idaho.<\/p>\n

But anyway…<\/p>\n

I try to be a good husband.<\/p>\n

So I figured I’d put one of those fancy keypad things outside the garage door.
\nThen she could push some buttons instead of spending 3 days trying to find the remote buried under the vacuum cleaner and three pairs of shoes in her purse.<\/p>\n

\"Garage-door-ad-sized\"Except…<\/p>\n

The garage door opener is so old they don’t make doohickies that’ll connect to the ancient wireless system that it has now.<\/p>\n

I found this out after I bought the keypad and 3 brand new real small remotes.<\/p>\n

That’s okay –\u00a0Amazon.com has everything.<\/p>\n

I just have to replace the entire wireless control system on the opener with a wiz-bang universal, work-with-everything black box the size of a small garbage truck.<\/p>\n

Did I mention it’s expensive?<\/p>\n

And I won’t know if the other stuff I bought will work with it until it’s installed.
\nAnticipation is a wonderful thing.<\/p>\n

What started out as a loving attempt to make her life easier has turned into putting a Ferrari engine into a 1962 Ford Falcon.<\/p>\n

Several weeks from now, after dedicating my life to this transplant surgery, it should be ready to go.
\nHopefully.<\/p>\n

Instead of “thank you” she’ll say…
\nHow much did it cost?<\/p>\n

Can’t win.
\nThat’s why I’m grumpy.<\/p>\n

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