{"id":472,"date":"2013-09-23T05:30:41","date_gmt":"2013-09-23T15:30:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=472"},"modified":"2013-10-05T05:47:39","modified_gmt":"2013-10-05T15:47:39","slug":"im-a-sweetheart","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=472","title":{"rendered":"I’m a sweetheart"},"content":{"rendered":"

There’s no way to save up brownie points earned with the wife.
\nAny husband will tell you that’s a universal truth.<\/p>\n

You only have to be grumpy once to wipe out all the good stuff you’ve done over the previous weeks, months and sometimes years.<\/p>\n

\"Grumpy-sized\"<\/a>This is the big difference between men and women.<\/p>\n

My guy friend gets grumpy on me – I forgive it because he once bought me a beer.<\/p>\n

I get grumpy around the wife for 10 seconds I’m in deep trouble because she reminds me I was late picking her up once back in 1995.<\/p>\n

If that doesn’t work she has a long list of others transgressions she’ll gladly drag out from some dusty brain area where this stuff is forever stored.<\/p>\n

Some going back to the Last Supper.<\/p>\n

If her girlfriend gets her upset, all is well 10 seconds later.<\/p>\n

The only reason must be our brains are wired differently.<\/p>\n

She calls me a grumpy old man.
\nOf course I’m not.<\/p>\n

If fact her girlfriends\u00a0think I’m delightful but I, of course,\u00a0was never late picking them up before.<\/p>\n

You would be grumpy too if you were old and all your parts don’t work as well as they used too.<\/p>\n

But the fact is most old people aren’t grumpy.
\nWe just look that way.<\/p>\n

That’s what gravity does after 60+ years.
\nThings get pulled down.<\/p>\n

Catch us standing on our head and we look pretty good.<\/p>\n

Many are hard of hearing.
\nToo many years of rock-and-roll at the pain level.<\/p>\n

Old people aren’t ignoring you – they don’t hear you.<\/p>\n

As for me, my hearing isn’t as bad as the wife thinks.
\nSometimes I’m just tuning her out.<\/p>\n

When she’s nattering on about one of her girlfriends sanity demands I turn if off.<\/p>\n

Other times I’m concentrating on something and it’s like she’s on another continent.<\/p>\n

It’s amazing how she scolds the grandchildren not to interrupt someone when they are busy but I suspect that doesn’t apply if you’re over 18.<\/p>\n

I realize that doesn’t explain the go-to-hell rudeness some old folks throw your way.<\/p>\n

I suspect they were rude people all their life and now they don’t care if it shows.<\/p>\n

Here’s the scientific reason: only the good die young so all that’s left are the crabby ones.<\/p>\n

Since old folks don’t see, hear or move well, most people ignore them and that makes the grumpy, loud ones stand out.<\/p>\n

I’m not grumpy – but the trouble is, you only have to be grumpy once to wipe out\u00a0your entire reputation of being wonderful.<\/p>\n

Now, get off my lawn.<\/p>\n

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