{"id":665,"date":"2013-11-12T12:08:06","date_gmt":"2013-11-12T22:08:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=665"},"modified":"2013-11-12T12:08:03","modified_gmt":"2013-11-12T22:08:03","slug":"off-to-sin-city","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=665","title":{"rendered":"Off to sin city"},"content":{"rendered":"

The bags are packed, the booby-traps are set in the house and the wife is chopping at the bit to get going to Vegas.<\/p>\n

Video poker machines, hanging with her high school reunion friends and shopping\u00a0have been\u00a0a siren’s wail calling her for weeks.<\/p>\n

\"big-small-bag\"<\/a>I get the real small luggage\u00a0bag so it can fit inside a big, empty bag.
\nThat becomes my one check-in luggage.<\/p>\n

Then she can fill that big bag\u00a0with goodies scarfed from sales at all the malls.<\/p>\n

In fact, on one trip she had to buy another big bag to bring home all the stuff she bought.<\/p>\n

I will admit I helped add to it.<\/p>\n

\"Slot-Machine-sized\"<\/a>When we finally get there she’ll pat me on the head and send me to the casino floor\u00a0in the eternal search for riches.<\/p>\n

Well, she would if she could.
\nShe’s too short for that.<\/p>\n

It’s called literary license…<\/p>\n

She heads off\u00a0and waits at the poker machine.
\nWith me, she knows good things come to those who wait.<\/p>\n

I’m a pretty lucky guy all things considered.
\nI usually win enough to pay for the trip.<\/p>\n

Except that doesn’t happen.<\/p>\n

\"Giving-Money\"<\/a>Whenever my machine spits out a fairly large payoff, I walk it over and give it to her.
\nI try to be a good provider.<\/p>\n

She gleefully takes it and stuffs it in her machine where she begins the slow but steady journey of losing it all.<\/p>\n

By that time I’m back with some more payoff tickets.<\/p>\n

Win, give, lose, repeat for 5 days.<\/p>\n

I go home with hardly anything and she goes home with most of what she had to start with, plus the once empty big luggage bag stuffed with stuff.<\/p>\n

Look up “good provider” in the dictionary and I suspect you’ll find a picture of me.
\nWith money in my hand.<\/p>\n

When we get\u00a0home\u00a0she’ll say, “Gimme the rest of the money to put back in the bank.”<\/p>\n

Now I’m grumpy.<\/p>\n

See you in a week.<\/p>\n

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