{"id":741,"date":"2013-11-29T05:30:34","date_gmt":"2013-11-29T15:30:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=741"},"modified":"2013-11-29T06:59:41","modified_gmt":"2013-11-29T16:59:41","slug":"the-secret-in-your-computer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/grumpyseniors.com\/?p=741","title":{"rendered":"The secret in your computer"},"content":{"rendered":"

I have made a major scientific discovery that is sure to make the cover of some magazine.<\/p>\n

MAD would be nice.<\/p>\n

You should not be surprised\u00a0that every computer has hidden inside a special chip no one talks about.<\/p>\n

Its entire purpose is to drive you crazy.<\/p>\n

I have given my usual several minutes\u00a0of thought to this\u00a0and here are my conclusions:<\/p>\n

This computer chip\u00a0measures your stress level and the higher your frustration, the more mischief it will cause.<\/p>\n

Stay with me here…<\/p>\n

This is not the chip the NSA puts in there to track everything you do.
\nThat one has a tag that says, “Remove under penalty of law.”<\/p>\n

\"Secret-chip-sized\"<\/a>This hidden one messes things up more and more the madder you get.<\/p>\n

If you’ve ever used a computer you know I am dragging a well hidden secret into the light for all to see.<\/p>\n

No secret is safe from me.<\/p>\n

Here’s my convincing scientific explanation:<\/p>\n

Think back to\u00a0many times\u00a0your computer\u00a0has just stopped.
\nYou will realize\u00a0it’s in proportion to how important the work was at the time.<\/p>\n

Everything always starts out just fine – but\u00a0under deadline, your project\u00a0becomes an exercise in frustration.<\/p>\n

Out of nowhere it screeches to a halt and stuff disappears.
\n**poof**<\/p>\n

\"Blue-screen-of-death-sized\"<\/a>You pound on things and press all the keys and it starts up again, only to show you some silly screen saying you are in big trouble.<\/p>\n

It’s downhill from there.
\nYou might as well quit and go take a nap.<\/p>\n

This has happened to everyone.
\nYou know it.<\/p>\n

This secret chip is known to only to repair people whose middle name is “Geek”.<\/p>\n

When you bring your computer in\u00a0they tell you to come back in 3 days.<\/p>\n

The guy goes then goes surfing and plays pool.<\/p>\n

The morning you are due to pick it up, he pushes a strange 6-key combination and the chip is reset.<\/p>\n

You walk through the door, he hands you a bill for $75.00 and says, “All fixed.”<\/p>\n

And it is – for a while – until next time.<\/p>\n

And that’s why so many people are grumpy.<\/p>\n

Science finds the answers to everything.<\/p>\n

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