Imagine this if you will.

I’m sitting bleary-eyed at my computer early in the morning checking email and waiting for the coffee to kick-start my system.

My bride comes into my office and says, “You gotta see this.”

And shoves a napkin with a fresh pile of dog poop under my nose.

How’s that image in your mind?
Imagine being at the receiving end of it.

Now, I have nothing against the dog doing his business – but in the back yard, please.

In her defense, if that’s possible in this instance, we have a very sick dog and she judges his present condition by the attributes of his morning business.

It really isn’t necessary to share it with me.

A verbal report is more than sufficient, thank you.

I try to understand the vet said to keep an eye open for changes since the dog is ill and I’m glad the wife takes it seriously.

But marriage is built on trust so if she says anything’s out of the ordinary I am more than willing to take her word on it.

There’s no need for me to look two inches from my nose to validate her observation.

Nor is it necessary for me to participate in this forced sniff test.

Although I admit we may have stumbled on the perfect diet because my appetite immediately disappeared and remained so for the rest of the day.

She never asks about my poop when I’m sick so suspect it’s an empty nest thing at her age.

Yeah, this is really gross and I probably made you grumpy.

Welcome to my world.