Yesterday was National Goof-Off Day.

That’s why I disappeared from the Internet.

I bet you didn’t think there was a day named for just screwing off, did you?

Not that I need one, it does come in handy at work when I do something stupid.

Not that the boss understands.

Goofing off is really a uniquely American thing.

We all know instinctively it means is to pass the time through the most unproductive means possible.

And still get paid.

I strive for at least one episode daily.

I am hugely successful.

Scientific studies have shown that messing around actually makes a person more productive.

Something else the boss doesn’t understand.

But I’m waiting for the last day of the month – March 31st.

It’s national “She’s Funny That Way” Day

A whole day dedicated to my wife, bless her soul.

A day to honor the women in your life who make you laugh…or in my case, who make me shake my head and giggle inside.

This is the lady who wants to put a bathroom in the dog’s daytime cage.

The lady makes me laugh.

If you prefer to pass that up, it’s also Terri’s Day, Take Your Parents to the Playground Day, Bunsen Burner Day, and National Clams on the Half Shell Day.

Something for everyone.

I have a couple of proclamations where the Mayor has named a day after me.

I guess I did something good at one time or another.

The Mayor of any city pumps these things out by the hundreds.

A nice letter gets it started and back in the mail is something suitable for framing, courtesy of the PR department.

Nice idea for a couple getting married.

One was actually done for a couple getting divorced.

I did wonder how they divided that one up.

And if you are a big shot or having a real big shindig, just about any Mayor might possibly deliver it in person.

And make a small speech.

Politics is a funny business.

That’s October 16th by the way.