I have tried for years to understand the wife and her girlfriends.

There is no understanding.
It’s an entirely different universe.

But I have learned that men are last in line when it comes to women deciding who they want to spend their time with unless it involves manual labor or changing light bulbs.

The wife will sit for hours on the phone with her girlfriends discussing every part of their day in such great detail her phone battery dies before she’s done.

What possibly could be that interesting?

And if another girlfriend calls, she’ll happily go through the whole thing again.

Some nights three or four in a row will call and I need to escape the area immediately.
That much information would make a guy’s head explode.

Men stand in the hallways scratching ourselves, mutter a few words about last night’s game and then wander off after 30 seconds.

I don’t think I’ve ever spent more than 2 or 3 minutes on the phone with a friend in my entire life.

Guys don’t need a detailed explanation of my day – unless it involved swimsuit models or a new beer – and I sure don’t want to hear it from them.

When the wife gets chatty over dinner about one of her friends I will feel  my sanity slipping away.

Some simple story can include a weather report, the color of the walls, what they had for lunch, the dress she was wearing and a complete biography of her friend’s family, including relatives in far-off lands.

When I politely say I don’t need all that information, I get the look.

You know the look.
It’s instinctual and it’ll stop a clock and freeze men’s hearts.

Every man in the world has had the look aimed at them one time or another.

It usually is because they are wanting to do something the wife doesn’t agree to but won’t tell you.

“What’s the matter?”
“Nothing.”
“Okay, just checking. I’m going to go clean the garage.”

Another look.

It’s amazing we sometimes make it to middle age.