The wife rarely calls me.

Instant Message is her communication of choice, even if we’re in the same house.

“What do you want for dinner?”

That’s her secret code for, “I’m not cooking so either you cook or tell me what plate lunch your want for me to pick up on the way home.”

Since she isn’t particularity delighted with my gourmet macaroni and cheese with hot dogs, we’re talking Zippys.

The woman’s a saint to make sure I’m fed.

And it makes her day when I say Chef Salad.

Zippys is her most favorite place in the whole world next to Macys and Las Vegas.

The place stirs the soul of us local folks.

She says it’s good for me when I eat stuff that has lots of different colors and keeps you regular, not that I’ve ever had any problem in that area.

I like it because it has lots of other stuff like cheese and ham and whatever else there is that hides the fact I’m paying $8.40 for 75-cents worth of lettuce.

Guys like bargains too.

The problem is… Zippys is cutting back.

The wife brought home this Chef Salad the other night that was maybe a third smaller than the ones I used to get from the home of the Zip Pack.

It sure didn’t look like anything I’ve had before – or that menu picture above, either.

Probably 50-cents worth of lettuce that was hidden by less stuff than before.

A menu item has become a side dish.

I don’t think Zippy’s gets it.

Sure, it’s raising its prices because the cost of that lettuce and other itsy-bitsy stuff is going up.

I can decide if it’s worth it to buy that now-overly expensive salad.

But to raise the price and then cut back on what you get kinda makes the decision easy.

Nope.
It would leave a rabbit hungry.

At the rate that thing is downsizing and up-pricing, I’d be on a super-model diet for $10 in no time.

I’d probably look a lot better.

And also a lot grumpier from being hungry and irregular.