I have the feeling this is going to upset some people.

It shouldn’t.

It’s based on scientific studies on how communities change to be different from those around them.
It Darwinism at it’s best.

It’s still going to piss some people off.

It’s taken me almost twenty years but I’ve learned a new language.
Not that I use it.

But I can understand it and read it – if anyone were to write that way – which they don’t.
I think.

The wife and I lived for a long time in Hawaii Kai.

But as the years slipped by she longed for the motherland – Aiea.

It’s where she grew up and has her roots, so to speak.
A place where she can find lots of tofu.

I couldn’t find a picture of old-time Aiea except for those with the sugar mill.

So, here’s my motorcycle.

The lovely lass has put up with me, as wonderful as I am, for a long time.

The least I could do is pack everything we own and buy a home in central Oahu.

I still miss Makapuu and driving past Hanauma Bay.

But she’s happy and that’s important to me.

We all know – if the wife is unhappy she’ll make damn sure the husband is too.
Call it an investment on my part.

When the winds blows in the right direction she can smell Aiea from where we live and her heart goes all a-flutter and she is content.

We’ve been here for a about eight years now and she has slowly reverted to Aiea-speak.

Apparently Aiea has its own language and I’m proud to admit I am now bi-lingual.

I’m no English teacher so I can’t explain what she does to the English language, except mangle it.

One of our dogs is named “Toby”.

He’s the sick one we have to carry a lot.

When the wife stops checking Facebook for 30 seconds, she starts in…
“Toby come”
“Toby shee-shee?”
“Toby outside?”

Then there’s the ever famous…
“Toby mum-mum?”
…for dinner.

Listening to her talk to her girlfriends on the phone usually consists of, “Yeah yeah yeah”.

If she’s really in agreement it can stretch to, “Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah”.

Now, this has to be spoken in the right way.
Each yeah slides right into the next.

No pausing or you’re speaking gibberish.

One can only imagine what’s going on at the other end of the phone.

I’m only touching on this strange language.

It’s easy to learn Aiea-speak.
Just drop adverbs, adjectives, pronouns, a lot of verbs and most other things you learned in school.

No, it’s not pidgin.
It’s a completely different language.

Boy, am I going to catch hell when she sees this.

“Courtney die.”