I try to stay away from politics because the NSA might put me on the No Fly list.
That would stop my yearly pilgrimage to Las Vegas.

They know how to hit a guy where it hurts.

But I couldn’t let this one go by.
The White House needs my help and I’m stepping up to the plate.

Considering some of the decisions that have come out of there lately, this is a good thing.

There’s a plan afoot to reduce the nation’s greenhouse gas emissions.

That’s a good thing except for how they want to do it.

According to this story I saw, the Obama administration is aiming directly at the dairy industry.

As you know from an earlier story I did, cows fart – a lot.

In fact they **poof** out enough methane in 24 hours to run a refrigerator for a day.

The government, which apparently has few major problems to deal with these days, wants to cut back methane **poofs** from dairy cows by 25 percent over the next five years.

That’s a big reduction.

The trouble is the White House hasn’t said how it would do this so I assume that part hasn’t been worked out yet.

There does seem to be a small problem with not thinking things through in Washington.

That’s okay, I’m here to help.

First, every plan needs a catchy title to get the public’s attention.
I dub thee “Obamafart”.

I shall come up with an answer for this problem.

I have two solutions on the table.

One is to keep them all locked up and suck out the air a couple of times a day.

That should be a lot of methane.

Then sell the stuff for people’s stoves.

Not sure how that would smell and there’s probably not enough big airtight buildings to hold all the cows.

Moving on and putting my scientific mind to work, I pondered this for about a minute and came up with the perfect answer on cutting back cow **poofs**.

The scientific process is one of testing theories until one actually  works.

Of course the cows might get grumpy but I don’t care.

No need for a state dinner – just mail me my award.