Soccer is a snoozer

soccer1I finally have figured out soccer.

I sat through my first full game yesterday armed with popcorn, soda and my easy chair.

I kept falling asleep.
It’s a bit slow, isn’t it?

The United States was playing Portugal and since I’ve been to both countries I figured this was a good time to share my love of these two great nations and learn something too.

I think I got it.

Here’s what I understand so far –

People run around a lot.
Dreadlocks and beards are a big thing with the players.

Not much happens for a very, very long time.
So much running around, so little results.

It’s the most successful nap-making machine I’ve found.

Once in a while some guy on the side of the field waves a flag.
That stops everything for a second while everyone tries to figure out way.

The players appear to choose what color of shoes they want to wear.
Maybe there’s a reason for that but it escapes me…but they look expensive.

The wife would like that.

soccer2Players get kicked in their privates a lot.

While the opposition can seem to zero in on that spot easily, they apparently find it difficult to kick the ball into a very big net.

Maybe it’s because they’re trying to stay away from the other guy’s foot.

I can’t say I blame them.

Even with all this I understand it is the world’s most popular sport.

Maybe it’s because you can play it with just about anything round that can be kicked.

It’s the perfect game for children who have a lot of energy to spare.
It’s the perfect game for old folks to watch on TV and fall asleep.

In the end it’s like watching a chess match.
Or bowling.

Or my dog licking himself.

It’s not complicated.
soccer3sizedIt doesn’t require much equipment or organization.

While I still have some trouble understanding the sport I understanding the napping part and I like that.

Sorry if I made you soccer fans grumpy.
Actually, I’m not.

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