The secret in your computer

I have made a major scientific discovery that is sure to make the cover of some magazine.

MAD would be nice.

You should not be surprised that every computer has hidden inside a special chip no one talks about.

Its entire purpose is to drive you crazy.

I have given my usual several minutes of thought to this and here are my conclusions:

This computer chip measures your stress level and the higher your frustration, the more mischief it will cause.

Stay with me here…

This is not the chip the NSA puts in there to track everything you do.
That one has a tag that says, “Remove under penalty of law.”

Secret-chip-sizedThis hidden one messes things up more and more the madder you get.

If you’ve ever used a computer you know I am dragging a well hidden secret into the light for all to see.

No secret is safe from me.

Here’s my convincing scientific explanation:

Think back to many times your computer has just stopped.
You will realize it’s in proportion to how important the work was at the time.

Everything always starts out just fine – but under deadline, your project becomes an exercise in frustration.

Out of nowhere it screeches to a halt and stuff disappears.

Blue-screen-of-death-sizedYou pound on things and press all the keys and it starts up again, only to show you some silly screen saying you are in big trouble.

It’s downhill from there.
You might as well quit and go take a nap.

This has happened to everyone.
You know it.

This secret chip is known to only to repair people whose middle name is “Geek”.

When you bring your computer in they tell you to come back in 3 days.

The guy goes then goes surfing and plays pool.

The morning you are due to pick it up, he pushes a strange 6-key combination and the chip is reset.

You walk through the door, he hands you a bill for $75.00 and says, “All fixed.”

And it is – for a while – until next time.

And that’s why so many people are grumpy.

Science finds the answers to everything.

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