In a fit of boredom a couple of nights ago I Googled myself.

I wasn’t looking for me – I was looking for all those imposters who are using my name.

Most of them are female, which gives great credibility to my scientific theory that women the world over loved me so much they named their daughters after me.

That’s how Courtney Harrington became a lady’s name and I get lots of junk mail addressed to “Ms.”

I am honored.
Truly.

Here are a selected few just from LinkedIn.

One Courtney Harrington is a seasonal cashier at Mt. Rose Ski Tahoe.
I suspect that means she only works when there’s snow.

No word on what she does the rest of the time.
If she’s like me she naps a lot.

Then there is the lady Courtney Harrington who lists herself as an ice cream artist at Cold stone Creamery somewhere in the mainland.

She describes her job as singing, cake decorating, cake building, ice cream making, interacting with people, tolerance, cashier skills, fast pace work, good problem solving, leadership skills, critical thinking, optimistic attitude, respect, singing in public.

I think I like her.
We need more tolerant people.

I also like this lady with my name who is the owner of Boulevard Pawn in North Carolina.

Maybe she’ll loan me some money.

I’m not exactly what the good doctor she works for does, but another Courtney Harrington is the personal assistant to Robert Bulger, MD of the Southwest Pain Group. Her job description: Manage personal finances, coordinate various contractors and service providers, arrange business and personal travel and associated expenses, act as a liaison between attorneys and physician, review, organize and build timelines for med-mal defense work, event planning, courier, chauffeur, personal shopping, errand girl.

I don’t think I’ve heard the term “errand girl” in twenty years.

Then, I wonder why this Courtney Harrington never tried to recruit me.
After all, she’s the Recruitment Manager at Executive Recruiting.

Psst, call me.
Then we can go to a cocktail party together and never know who is talking to which one of us.
Great fun.

From the city where Apple comes from, we have a Yoga Instructor and RN named after me.

Ladies like that scare me because they are in better condition than I am.

By far my favorite is a Courtney Harrington who is an Autopsy Technician in the Hillsborough County Medical Examiner’s Office.

You have to love how she describes her job: I log in and process incoming bodies through photos, finger printing, and cataloging of personal items. I assist our Forensic Pathologist prior to the autopsy and during by setting up the proper equipment and aiding in the collection of specimens and the retrieval of the brain.

I want to meet her…preferably while alive.