Stolen, and worth it

Stolen but I don’t remember when or from where.

death of common senseToday we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend – Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.

No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
– Knowing when to come out of the rain,
– Why the early bird gets the worm,
– Life isn’t always fair,
– Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year old charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their children.

He declined further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when their child became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to survive as the churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your house, but he could sue you for assault.

The¬†end was near after a woman didn’t stop to think that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a large settlement.

He passed on a hot night in Dallas when people turned against those who protected them

Common Sense was preceded by death by…
– his parents, Truth and Trust,
– his wife, Discretion,
– his daughter, Responsibility,
– and his son, Reason.

He is survived by five step-brothers…
– I know my rights,
– I want it now,
– Authority sucks,
– Someone else is to blame,
– I’m a victim.

His funeral was not well attended so few know he was gone.
Makes you grumpy, doesn’t it?

Yeah, I’ve been missing

May-December romance - medI got a nice note from someone today asking if I had run off with a 16-year old or something like that.

It’s nice to be missed.

While the idea is intriguing, the answer is much more boring than that.

I went back to school.

At my age.
I must be stupid.

To prove it, here’s a bit of the gibberish I’m supposed to understand:

“Another example is given by Zp star for p prime. If p is prime, then Z*p is cyclic (of order p-1). So remember that Zp star is the multiplicative group, modular p. And if P is prime, then this contains every element from 1 to p-1. So this gives an example of a cyclic group. Now it’s easy to be confused here because p is prime, but the order of the group Zp star is not prime, it’s in fact, p-1 which for p greater than 3 will not be a prime. So this case is not covered by the previous theorem.”

I’m almost done.
With a 3.33 (B+) grade point average.

This proves the theory that guessing is a viable form of taking a test.

Not bad for not having any idea what the hell the professor talked about.

But he’s a grumpy guy so I like him.

I’ll be back.
Soon.

Real headlines from the ‘Net

headlines-sized

Just a time killer.
For me in finding this stuff…and for you in reading it.

Kim Kardashian confirms that she loves social media
Time travel and booze don’t mix
Woman pretty sure her knee looks just like James Corden
Criminal investigation after man records himself peeing in Kellogg’s products
Chinese school segregates cafeteria to stop PDAs and “food flirting”
10 ways to talk dirty without being embarrassed
North Korea threatens to wipe out Manhattan
Horse gets tailored, three-piece tweed suit (with pockets)
“The Walking Dead” is coming to life
Ryan Gosling saves dog on highway in ongoing quest to achieve sainthood
Donald Trump held a rally and nothing chaotic happened for once
Hell is up for sale, again
300-year old man looks 16

I didn’t provide the links because you’re better than that.