I had this urge to go to a movie a couple of weeks ago.
The “cinema” for you upper-crust types.

I quickly stifled it.
Going to a movie is an impossibility.

I don’t really like going by myself, I’m not
allowed to have a girlfriend to take me and
the wife falls asleep in every movie we ever went to.

3-D movies keep her awake but that’s because it gives her vertigo and she’s too busy spinning and complaining to get sleepy.

So, no movies.

Women don’t appreciate the sacrifices husbands make for them.

Speaking of movies, I watched the Academy Awards recently and wondered when those movies would get to NetFlix.
Probably years after they wrung every cent of of them.

I liked the guy on stage for an award wearing a tux, no tie and white sneakers.
There’s a person that puts comfort above all else.

He needed a haircut though.

It was fun to watch Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway hand out an award.
They were in Bonnie and Clyde and the gossip magazines for years have written about how much they really hate each other.
At the Oscars last year they wouldn’t even be together to rehearse.

Then they handed out the wrong envelope.
There’s a reason people rehearse.

I thought they hid their distaste fairly well.
That’s why they’re actors.

I once wanted to make a movie until I found out how much work it was and how much it costs.

I then decided I wanted to be a director so I could tell people what to do until I found out how much work that was and I would have to put up with people like Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway.

There was one short attempt at writing a screenplay until I found out that wasn’t easy…too much work.

Then an actor – just stand on some mark and say what someone wrote in a script.

I found out you had to be good looking and have talent and be willing to sit in the makeup chair for hours.

And anyway, I can’t cry on demand.

That was my career in the movie business.
That’s why I was on TV for bunch of years instead.

Speaking of TV, I now get my occasional movie watching TV on the couch with the wife.
Then she falls asleep and I wander away.

That’s why I’m grumpy.