Every time I begin to feel like some of the people I hang around with are getting a bit too stuffy – something like this comes along.

I feel much better.

As I prepare for my yearly donation to the Las Vegas economy, I leave you with this story of gastronomical love.

I haven’t got a name for this Russian guy but I have pictures and that’s better.

He has married a pizza.

That’s weird.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

His reason is, “Your love to a person is a temporary affection, however love for food is eternal and stays with you till your last day. Pizza won’t cheat on you and won’t give you up. I love pizza sincerely”.

Hard to argue with some of that.

So he gathered his friends, dressed up a pizza box with a bride gown and lit the ceremonial flame heart.

And then they got married.
Really.

A Russian legal marriage certificate was officially presented to the guy.

He was also given a knife and fork.

I pronounce you man and pizza.
You may eat the bride.

That was a short marriage.

See you folks in 10 days.
Don’t be grumpy.

It’s crisis time at Harrington Manor.

We are 9 days from our yearly pilgrimage to the family Thanksgiving roundup on the mainland.

Followed by visiting my money in Las Vegas.

Maybe I’ll leave some more to keep it company.
Again.

I’d rather leave it here but some anal-retentive political types feel it would damage my ability to live a wholesome and upstanding life.

It’s too late for that but I have hope some form of Vegas love will still happen here.

How to you think they’ll pay for that massive over-budget rail system down the road?

Yup.
Lottery!

You wait and see.

Anyway, back to my imbroglio.

The wife is on one of her cleaning binges while balancing her obsessive need to pack a week in advance.

She’s looking at the dozen suitcases stashed in the back room – trying to decide what color she wants this time.

In the past she has solved this problem by buying new ones.
This year she apparently is trying to do things a different way.

Use what you got.
Great concept.

Being married for what seems like forever, I’ve learned how to handle this.

Stay out-of-the-way.

And when she comes to say, “How about the purple one with pink polka dots?”…

I just say, “Sounds good.”

I’ve given up on hitting the mega-bucks even though *someone* has to win it so why not me?

The problem with that bit of optimism is *someone* always seems to do it a couple of days before we arrive.

The casinos dial the slots back to “no pay” and I start paying for their new room renovations.

Hope springs eternal.

Come to think of it – this is Friday the 13th.
Yipes, no wonder I’m grumpy.

Here’s another one of those great news items that will have the office buzzing today.

Scientists say you can prevent cancer by smelling farts.

I try to only provide you with the most important things to make your life better.

The University of Exeter is a public research university located in Exeter, South West England.

A lot of these kinds of studies seem to come from England.

Anyway, the scientists there are saying smelling farts actually prevents cancer, among other diseases.

I suspect some explanation is required.

Most stinky **poofs** are from hydrogen sulfide gas – produced when bacteria breaks down food inside your lower regions.

Now you have some great small talk for your next cocktail party.

Back to our scientific study…

Although I’m sure we can all agree stinky gas is no fun in large doses, the scientists are saying that a delicate whiff here and there has the power to reduce risks of cancer, strokes, heart attacks, arthritis, and dementia.

It supposedly does this by preserving mitochondria.

If you want to get complicated, follow this:
Mitochondria generate chemical energy, similar to the type of energy you get from a battery.

The energy made by the mitochondria is in the form of a chemical called adenosine triphosphate or ATP for short.

ATP is an energy currency that every cell in our body can use and it keeps us alive.

The machinery that the mitochondria use to make ATP is called the electron transport chain which is made up of 4 complexes which are groups of proteins that work together to carry out their function, the 5th complex is responsible for the final step of the energy generation.

It is found in the inner mitochondrial membrane and parts of the first, third, fourth and fifth complexes are coded for by the mitochondrial DNA.

Yes, that wasn’t helpful at all.
Cellular biology is complicated.

Returning to the scientists…

“We have exploited this natural process by making a compound, called AP39, which slowly delivers very small amounts of this gas specifically to the mitochondria. Our results indicate that if stressed cells are treated with AP39, mitochondria are protected and cells stay alive.”

How this prevents all those diseases is still a mystery to me, but if they say it – it must be true.

After all, it’s on the Internet.

So instead of getting upset the next time someone rips one in the elevator – be thankful.

You just had days added to your life.