Her time is growing short.
When one has reached my age you have seen too many die of old age.
It seems to follow the same course whether a person or an animal.
My long-time best friend is winding down and the end may not be far.
Sleeping much of the time, appetite slowly disappearing.
Walking is painful with many stops to rest, and she no longer meets me at the door when I come home.
My wife says she’s hanging in because she loves me so much and I should talk to her and tell her it’s okay to let go.
How can I do that?
I give her pain medication twice a day so she can walk and honey by mouth 4 times a day to try to keep her sugar levels up so she doesn’t have a seizure.
It still happens sometimes because honey is no substitute for a functioning pancreas.
I had another dog that died almost the same way about 3 years ago.
Hand feeding, lots of medicine and care and one day he collapsed right in front of me and died.
It took me a year to get over it.
Thinking back, his quality of life was only fair and I wonder if I did the animal any favor by stretching his life out the few extra months.
It does raise all sorts of questions for me about when it’s time to let go and how long to fight the inevitable.
It’s hard to give up, especially with something that has been with me for so long and is part of the family – part of my life.
Someday I’ll have that talk.
But not now.
I’m being selfish.