Crashes, names and Hula

Yesterday I was a little bored waiting for football to come on the TV.

So I wandered to that repository of cinema magic – YouTube.

The day’s selection de jour was car crashes.
The non-fatal kind.

Just about all of them were from Russia.

I suppose part of that was because it seems everybody in Russia has a dashcam.

Bus-car-crashI suppose part of that was because it seems everyone in Russia is a real lousy driver.

Stop signs, traffic signals and speed limits appear to suggestions only.

And they are rarely taken.

Same thing with passing on the right, running into stuff in front of you and turning from the wrong lane..

And they all get mad like that nurse lady who’s been in the news recently for going crazy in her car.

I wonder how she’s doing today?

This, of course, leads to thoughts of the new cold war between the U.S. and Russia.

Russian Border GuardHave you ever seen pictures of Russian soldiers?

And they wear their hats on the back of their heads.

How can anyone take an army of slobs seriously?

Which, of course, leads to people who name their kids with things that rhyme.

Why do people do that?

Hi, meet Jerry Harry.
It’s hard to stifle my giggles.

I always figured rhyming names belong in a kid’s storybook, nowhere else.

Why just there?
Because the kid reading it will probably be laughing his butt off at that funny name.

That keeps them occupied and not bugging adults.

Now put that name on a real person and you get the idea of what he or she is going to be living with the first 15 years of their life.

Talula Does the HulaThen they start calling them self something else.
Except they are already psychotic

A judge a couple of years ago forced the New Zealand parents of “Talula Does The Hula” to change her name.

Good for that judge.

And that, of course, leads to football which is finally starting.

Nothing to be grumpy about today.
But the day is still young.

Counting your corns

This might get a few ladies upset.
That’s okay.

It won’t be the first time – or last.

Flip-Flop stringI’ve always had this problem with rubber slippers.

Yes, this is Hawaii and that’s what we wear.

My problem is some forget that shouldn’t be all that we wear.

As mom used to say, there’s a time and place for everything.
That usually was when I was acting like a jerk, but it can apply here too.

In my younger years, I had too many dates where the lady’s idea of dressing up was putting on rubber slippers of a different color.

That’s not dressing up.

And that generally put a damper on any desire for a second date.
Yeah, I can be really shallow.

Let me see if I can squeeze a word in and explain this to the ladies…

Have you ever noticed most guys get crazy when they visit San Francisco or New York?

Ladies in coats and scarfs and boots and stuff we never see.

Dressed up and looking fine.

People in Kansas think we’re lucky looking at babes in shorts all the time.
Yes indeed, that we are.

But after you see that, or anything, long enough it’s kind of the same stuff.

Nice but not unusual.

Back to slippers.
They’re for knocking around the yard, hitting the beach and maybe running to the store.

They call them shower clogs in parts of the world for a reason.

High Heel SlipperThis may be a shock – they’re don’t look so hot when going out to a nice restaurant.

Now I realize women dress for other women and not men.

But if some guy is going to lay out a couple hundred bucks and wear a clean shirt to show you a nice time, the least you can do is look a bit better than knocking around the yard.

“But they’re comfortable.”

So’s running around naked but my mother made me stop that when I was a year old.

Anyway, someone who puts on high heels and goes partying automatically loses the comfortable argument.

And don’t forget that some people got really ugly feet.

Guy in sandle and socksAnd I haven’t even got to toe rings.

And just so you don’t think I’m picking only on women, I leave you with this delight.

A whole bunch of people reading this are now grumpy.
Too bad.

I’m right.