Scientific proof: Men are stupid

Something this Monday to gladden the heart of most ladies and give them yet another reason to gloat and say “I told you so.”

Please don’t.
It’ll make you look ugly and you wouldn’t want that.

Another scientific study is out.
I love scientific studies.

Especially if I agree with them.

Carlin---stupid-men-sizedThis one says men are dumb.

I agree.
Present company excepted, of course.

The British Medical Journal took a break from studying the Royals to release the result of its look into which gender is more likely to die as a result of doing something really, really dumb.

It’s men.
Yup, they’re idiots.

stupid_things_men_do_sizedEspecially when there’s beer involved.

The Journal looked at all of the Darwin Award winners between 1995 and 2014.

In case you don’t know – the Darwin’s are an award given to confirmed instances of people meeting an untimely end as a result of poor decision-making.

They are presented to people who improve the human gene pool by removing their own stupid genes from it.

Guys accounted for almost 90-percent of Darwin Award winners.

The supports the “male idiot theory”.

That’s the scientific observation that men are idiots and idiots do stupid things.
And this even wasn’t when they were trying to impress some lady.

For example – the study listed three dudes who played a variation of Russian roulette by alternately taking shots of alcohol and then stamping on an unexploded Cambodian land mine.

The game ended when it blew up, demolishing the bar and all three men.

Lighting-a-fart-sizedAll you have to do is cruise YouTube to see for yourself guys trying to light their farts (you can), catch a baseball with their mouth (you shouldn’t) and ride the hood of a car at 60 MPH (you can’t).

The majority of these Darwin winners seem to be between 16 and 23 years of age.

This may explain why there are fewer of those folks around these days.

If I was younger I’d think this was great as it gets rid of the competition.

But since I’m an old coot and managed to survive my stupid years…I’ll just watch my brothers.

I’m so proud.

When it’s time to quit

It’s sad to admit – it’s finally come to this.

Sometimes in life you just need to walk away.
It’s a sign of strength and not weakness.

It’s time.

The feeling has been growing over the past few years.

What started as a vague restlessness has grown into an undeniable desire for freedom.
For something else.

Some will understand.
Those that do not – will some day.

One can only commit so many of the few days we are allotted on this earth without a return for our effort.

In the beginning we were drawn together by something that existed only for a brief period.

She couldn’t do enough for me and everything was magical.
Bells rang and lights flashed and I thought I was the luckiest man in the world.

Something changed and the affection died.

She turned out to be a charlatan.

Taking and rarely giving back.

I was abandoned as she willing gave her time and favors to others while leaving me alone and lonely.

Lady-Luck-sized2Today I announce my divorce from Lady Luck.

See ya honey.
Watch the door on the way out.

I’m not sure how I’ll handle Las Vegas next year but it will be better as I won’t be expecting her to be by my side.

Getting divorced is liberating.

I’m grumpy but feel great.

The future of air travel sucks

It’s been six days since we got back from Vegas – guess I’ll start unpacking.

I’ve spent the time napping and pondering the crappiness of what used to be a nice experience.

Flying is starting to stink.

We purchased Hawaiian Airline’s “preferred seating”.

That means more leg room.

It was interesting to pay to enjoy what used to be free and normal a few years ago.

Back then you could get in and out without hanging all over the seat in front of you because your legs don’t bend in the angles needed to exit.

As a semi-disabled person, I protest.

It ain’t getting better.

Here’s the future…

Thing’s are going to get tighter.
I always love to deliver good news.

Airline-Seat-sizedA new scientific survey says 42 percent of you folks would be likely to book a seat with less leg room if it meant getting a cheap fare.

You small and/or cheap folks are making life difficult for everyone else.

Cut it out.

The idea already has a name: “Economy Minus”.

It will be changed, I’m sure, into something positive.

The airlines would want to put a positive spin on it.
Maybe “cozy quarters” or “Love your knees” or something romantic.

This whole thing started when some blogger reported an unnamed major carrier was considering adopting a seat with a pitch of 30 inches or less.

Lemme help…

Pitch is the distance between the back of your seat and the back of the seat in front of you.

That includes the size of the seat cushion and the leg space.

The current space means, for most, your knees are rammed into the seat in front of you.

Reclining-seat-sizedThe government,which seems to regulate damn near everything, has no rules about seat space.

Only that there be enough so passengers can evacuate the plane in 90 seconds or less with half of the exits blocked.

For you young folks out there – there was a time when the seats would recline and you could sleep.
Hard to believe I know.

Good-braceNot too many years ago when a plane was expecting a “bad landing” they’d tell you to assume a brace position by putting your head all the way down.
A pillow was optional.

Bad-BraceNow, the brace position has changed to this because there’s no room to lean over.
A hard landing is sure going to mess up the pretty face.

But as long as people keeping give their approval by buying tickets it’s going to get worse.

Let’s not stop there.

If you can somehow get out of your seat to use the restroom, you may not fit there either.

From Airbus, which I have spanked before…

It has shown off a cabin design that gives passengers more room to stow their luggage but less room in the back-of-the-plane lavatory.

The changes in the interior design will begin in 2016 on the company’s A320 used by many U.S.-based carriers.

All of this started when airlines began charging for checked baggage so people are now trying to bring everything as a carry-on.

Instead of stopping that crap, they are with the flow.

To make more space, the A320 was redesigned two years ago to move the lavatories that were previously on either side of the aisle to the back of the plane.

They now share space with the food-preparing galley.

Nice, huh?
Bet the flight attendants love that.

The move freed up space to fit six extra seats.

Small-lav-sizedBut now, Airbus is saying the bathrooms take too much space away from the galley, so the latest modification squeezes the width of one of the bathrooms to increase the size of the galley.

No one is saying how much the lavatory will shrink under the new design.
Only that the narrower bathroom will be “equivalent” in size to the previous lavatory.

Bet they make it taller.

Traveling is beginning to suck more.
That should make you grumpy.

It does me.