I speak for the common man – or person, to be correct.
The silent majority lives within my beating heart.
What the people feel, I give them a voice.
What I feel right now is a strong urge to give Donald Trump a good spanking and send him to his room without his checkbook.
He’s like every brat I have ever met – rolled into one.
I’m on obnoxious overload.
I like the fact he speaks his mind.
I don’t like that he has no filter on acting like a jerk.
I’ve decided it’s his hair.
It’s affecting his few brain cells.
Yes, everyone picks on The Donald’s hair.
For good reason.
Instead of taking the hint he thinks it’s love being shown.
So, in honor of his mouth I present this public service.
Allow me to show you how to make your own Trump hair style.
After much study I have arrived at the basic plan…
Please note there are only four basic steps.
A necessity if you are a busy person and need to get out the door quickly each day.
There are two ways to do your Trump.
The one to the right is how I believe he does it.
Below is an alternate way to achieve the look for those with more hair and better sense.
1) First it’s important to note this is not a classic side-part comb-over.
Blow dry your hair forward.
2) Then fold and blow your hair back and to the side in the manner of Wilma Flintstone.
3) Sweep and blow the remaining hair on both sides to anchor the edifice.
4) Apply ozone-depleting amounts of hairspray to lock everything down and scramble your brain.
You are now boardroom fabulous.
You’ll still be insufferable and I’ll still be grumpy.