In honor of the mouth

I speak for the common man – or person, to be correct.
The silent majority lives within my beating heart.

What the people feel, I give them a voice.

What I feel right now is a strong urge to give Donald Trump a good spanking and send him to his room without his checkbook.

He’s like every brat I have ever met – rolled into one.
I’m on obnoxious overload.

I like the fact he speaks his mind.
I don’t like that he has no filter on acting like a jerk.

trump-hair1aI’ve decided it’s his hair.
It’s affecting his few brain cells.

Yes, everyone picks on The Donald’s hair.
For good reason.

Instead of taking the hint he thinks it’s love being shown.

Delusional.

So, in honor of his mouth I present this public service.

Allow me to show you how to make your own Trump hair style.

Trump hair style1After much study I have arrived at the basic plan…

Please note there are only four basic steps.

A necessity if you are a busy person and need to get out the door quickly each day.

There are two ways to do your Trump.
The one to the right is how I believe he does it.

Below is an alternate way to achieve the look for those with more hair and better sense.

trump_hair brakdown011) First it’s important to note this is not a classic side-part comb-over.
Blow dry your hair forward.

trump_hair brakdown022) Then fold and blow your hair back and to the side in the manner of Wilma Flintstone.

trump_hair brakdown033) Sweep and blow the remaining hair on both sides to anchor the edifice.

trump_hair brakdown044) Apply ozone-depleting amounts of hairspray to lock everything down and scramble your brain.

You are now boardroom fabulous.

You’ll still be insufferable and I’ll still be grumpy.

Pluto – pick a side

The spacecraft New Horizons just flew by Pluto – the former planet, now a dwarf planet.

Picky people those scientists.
Pluto-heartThey keep saying “Look at that great heart”.

I keep looking.
I don’t see any heart.
Pluto Face4aWhy do you think it’s called Pluto?
Some scientists make me grumpy.

The day that the rains came down

Here’s how my week started…

Sunday afternoon the air conditioning in the house decided to barf.

When whole house A/C barfs, it’s a big mess.

Ceiling waterLots and lots of barf water visited the ceiling in the hallway and part of the master bedroom.

Uninvited guests can be quite unwelcome.

Our insurance company handled the arrangements to dry everything out in a professional way.

They’ll pay for all the repair work.

Except the air conditioning.
That’s up to me.

This isn’t about the destruction.
Stuff happens.

This is about how companies do business today.

About the only way to find a company for any repair work is ask a friend or check Yelp.

Since my friends are unreliable – Yelp it was.

I looked for A/C repair companies with 5-star ratings and started dialing.

I should be able to hire some folks, spend a bunch of money and move on with my life.

Everybody wins.

Guess what?
It appears just about everyone is working out of the back of their truck these days.

Most of my carefully placed calls went to someone’s cell phone voicemail with a promise to return the call real fast.
Didn’t happen.

Giiggle your brains outThose that didn’t go to voicemail were usually answered with someone saying, “Hello?”

Hello? I have to ask if this is the company I’m trying to reach?

Unless the number listed is your teenage daughter’s phone and you’re working out of your truck.

Not for me, thanks.

Oops, “Wrong number”.
Hang up.
Move on.

And while I’m ranting – have you noticed the shape of many business trucks on the road these days?

They are supposed to be rolling billboards for the company.
The phone number is usually plastered on there somewhere too.

It’s far too common for the truck to be beat up, dirty and the being driven by some kid like a maniac.

You think I’m going to call you?
Fergetit.

Then – when I finally lined up the various “companies” needed to repair the A/C and the ceiling…
Nobody shows up on time for the inspections.

One was 3 1/2 hours late and never called.

When he finally arrived, he was politely fired.

Another was an hour early and dug me out of the shower.
I should have answered the door naked except that would have scared even me.

drippy ceiling01Some people are forgetting business is competitive.

If I don’t have confidence in you I’m going somewhere else.

So I did.

It doesn’t take much to judge the potential quality of someone’s work by how they respond to an initial contact.

Being unprofessional is the first step my moving on.

It’s things like this that make me grumpy.