Things that are not fair…

I close my eyes at home for 5 minutes.
Two hours go by.

I close my eyes at work for 5 minutes.
Thirty seconds go by.

Why is that?

It is totally unfair that overweight people get hungry.

It’s unfair attractive people are considered smarter, nicer, and more moral than unattractive people.
Luckily the wife is lovely and balances off my stupider, grumpier, immoral self.

Weird headlines found while cruising the Net…

– Animal rights activist beaten with a duck
– Working longer raises stroke risk
– Jared Fogel: enjoy a foot long in jail
– Airplane passenger tasered over his man purse
– Communists meeting to plot world domination
– Food looking different without artificial dyes
– TSA worker accused of putting finger down man’s “rear cleavage”
– The $1 Million Parking Spot
– Update. Found a new one: Man assaults girlfriend with plate of sauerkraut

Have a nice weekend.

We have an important problem to tackle.

I was driving through parts of Waipahu over the weekend.

Concrete pillars were sprouting from the ground.

Rail is coming.

Whether you love or hate it – it brings an unexpected issue.

Someday – whenever – our $23-billion, 7-mile rail might actually be done, guys are going to be sitting and…manspreading.

Read that word carefully.
It’s not what you first thought.

Follow me on this.

New York City is upset with guys on subways.

It’s running public service ads about guys being more dainty.

The subject is…”manspreading”.
There’s that word again.

That’s a guy sitting with his legs too far apart.

It now can get you a ticket or some pissed off old lady hitting you with her bag.

The idea is to stop rude guys from taking up more than one seat and therefore making grumpy New Yorker’s even more grumpy.

If that’s possible.

I lived in New York City for about two years a long time ago.

Yeah, you don’t want to get one of them upset.

If you’ve ever ridden the subway in New York you know the whole thing will get anyone upset.

There’s naked people, break dancing people, singing people, panhandling people and lots of pervert-type people.

So I can see the idea behind manspreading – but we need to discuss some basic anatomy here.

Guys have stuff that don’t let them keep their legs together.

To keep things delicate, we’re using a briefcase.

But you know.

Need I explain more?
Ask your mother.

And the size of these things can vary.

And we haven’t even got into fat guys yet.

New York doesn’t care.

Some guys have gotten tickets and some have gotten arrested.

This is our future on the $49-billion 5-mile rail.

You think manspreading is bad – wait until you see some 500-pound sumo-sized guy riding the $112-billion 3-mile rail.