Once in a while I stumble across something that you’ll want to know about.

This qualifies.

There are stupid ideas and there are very stupid ideas.
This falls firmly in category number two.

And if this doesn’t make you grumpy, we should have coffee because you’re obviously a very rare individual and I need you in my life.

Airbus is the European company that makes planes in competition with U.S. made Boeing.
You most likely have flown on one.

In fact, if you get on a Hawaiian Airlines flight to the mainland, that’s an Airbus.

The folks in the top corporate towers of Airbus think they have the answer to jamming more people on a plane.

Look at this…

Airbus has filed a patent for a seat that packs people in without those pesky space wasting cushions, folding tables and leg space.

What it has is basically a bicycle seat, and when a seat isn’t being used, it folds vertically to save space.

Just genius.

Can you imagine plumping your butt into that thing for your yearly six-hour pilgrimage to the mainland?

The idea is to cram more people on the plane and make more money.

Capitalism at it’s best.

Since we’re talking about stupid ideas, I offer this to Airbus.

This could be the next big thing.

Airbus says most people would go along with it if it makes the flight cheaper.
The scary thing it’s probably right.

Some of you folks are really cheap.
And weird.

In a further rare bit of honesty, Airbus says packing more people on board is going to result in “reduced” comfort.
Duh.

It goes on to say – the goal is basically to figure out how far they can push things without causing an airborne revolt.
Duh again.

Who came up with this stupid idea?

The French side of the company.
Mais bien sûr.

It figures.

If you’re on the mainland you can drive or ride the train.

We’re not doing that here.
Consider yourself stuck with whatever they give you.

Listen up Hawaiian Air – don’t go there.

You don’t want to see me get any more grumpy than I am.

For the curious, here’s the patent application.
Read it and weep.

Now I’m in a bad mood.

This is a hard-won lesson from being around women most of my life.

You can’t win.

Logic doesn’t enter in to any discussion so don’t even go there.

The only correct answer is, “Yes dear”.

The wife wants to go to Japan with her friends next year.
Yes dear.

You don’t mind?
Yes dear, I don’t – have a good time.

Do you want to come?
Yes dear, but you know as a member of the disabled club I can’t walk that much and I’d be a drag.

So you really don’t mind?
Yes, dear.

Big hug.

Are you beginning to see how this works?

I’ve gotten along fairly well with most of the ladies in my life following that rule.
Except for two.

One slapped my face.
Hard.

I probably asked for it.
Somehow.

Maybe I forgot to say, “Yes dear”.

The other is Lady Luck.

I’ve always felt I’ve lived a charmed life but she and I must have a serious discussion before I go to Vegas at the end of the year.

She can be a bit flighty and I’d like to have her full attention this time.

I’m looking at adding to the retirement fund in a big way.
Some help here would be appreciated.

I’m sure some of you he-men out there are shaking your head over this.

Listen, “Yes dear” doesn’t mean you’re a wuss and giving in.

It means keeping the little lady happy.
Then – go do what you want.

After she finds out and calls you an idiot, you say…
Yes dear.

And move on.

It really is that simple.

Regardless of what the wife says, I don’t have too many buttons you can push that will make me crazy.

The ones I do have she likes to jab occasionally to see if I’m still breathing.

But that’s for another time…

At my age I realize there are smart people and there are dumb people and it is what it is.

I’m real good at ignoring an idiot.

But some dumb things will light a fuse that leads to my going nuts.

Here’s a prime example…

I was in a store a couple of days ago.

Some well dressed and moderately hot lady was there with her kid.

He was maybe about 8.

He was acting like little jerk, no doubt due to the wonderful job his mom is doing in raising him.

So miss wonderful grabs the kid by the arm, gives him a shake just short of child abuse and says…

“You behave yourself or I’ll call a policeman to come arrest you and put you in the bad boys home.”

Button pushed.

Defcon one.
Red alert.

So, this jackass is raising her kid to either be afraid of, or hate police.

I’m sure he’ll turn into a model citizen.

Can you actually believe someone doing this?
What an incredibly stupid thing to do.

This is the kind of mother that when the kid goes out and creates carnage, the news will quote her as saying, “I don’t believe it. He was a good boy. Yes, he had some problems but was talking about going back to get his GED, marry his girlfriend and be a better father to his 3 children. He was ready to go back to rehab. He would never hurt anyone.”

Here’s what you tell your kids…

If you’re ever lost or scared and mom or dad isn’t around find a police officer.

He will keep you safe and help you find us.

That’s what they do and they do it because they want to help people.

Sure they write tickets and arrest people but those people probably deserved being arrested or ticketed.

Don’t break the law and they won’t bother you.

Officers are there to keep people safe and that stupid, ignorant excuse for a mother forever put that kid on the wrong path.

So what did I do?
Nothing.

Today you get sued for sticking you nose in someone else’s business.

I don’t mind getting blasted for doing the right thing, but there’s no way my 30 seconds of teaching her parenting skills will make a difference.

The whole thing made me grumpy as hell.