I ponder my youth and wonder…
What the hell was I thinking?

If you’re somewhere around middle age, there’s sure to be more than one thing you did back in your tender years you’d rather not remember anymore.

I got boxes of that stuff.

I’d share some of them but I have successfully suppressed that stuff over the years.

Memory is a wonderful thing.
Twist it enough and you’ll change the bad memories to good.

Delusion is great.
All I have left is the good stuff.

There is this one thing…

This was back when I was in radio – as a disk jockey before I moved to news.

KGU was still on the roof of the old Advertiser Building and the station was #1 after Aku got off the sir.

The Advertiser had some sort of artsy museum department that put on shows off the main lobby.

One day I came in and noticed a bunch of really strange stuff on display.

An idea was born.

The newsman and I gathered up about 500 feet of used recording tape, some pieces of styrofoam from a garbage can and a couple dozen used chop sticks from the lunch room in the building.

We snuck into the display area and found an unoccupied corner where we piled the tape and styrofoam about 4 feet high.

Then stuck the chop sticks in random places.

It fit right in because it was as ugly sin and so was all the rest of the stuff there.

We added a hand-lettered sign said, “Media Chaos”.

We had a lot to giggle about on the radio that day.
Life was good.

The next day we went down stairs to check things out, and I’ll be damned.

Our piece of junk had a ribbon on it: “Second Place”.

I may have missed my calling in life.

The reporter covering the show also listened to the show and she spilled the beans.

They took our ribbon back.

That’s when I started getting grumpy.

I’m sitting at my desk killing zombies on my computer when my iPhone starts making loud, urgent noises.

Yipes, it’s an emergency text message.

Um, high surf advisory.
Brought to me by…the Mayor.

Pull up a seat and let me tell you about a nationwide service called NIXIE.US

It provides emergency text notices to cellphones in the area where you live.

People can sign up for free and get important notices from police, fire, and other official-type people like the weather service.

Good idea?
You bet.

Except when politicians get involved and that’s making me grumpy.

You can go to the city’s Department of Emergency Management to sign up.

The idea of Nixie is to pass on to people information that could be important to the safety of them or their family.

Things like high surf warnings, flooding, hurricanes, stuff like that.

This actually comes from the Weather Service but it’s taken, reformatted to be shorter and then sent out through this service under the banner of the old Civil Defense, now called Emergency Management.

So why am I all grumped out over it?

Because the Mayor has attached his name to these texts.

Right at the middle of the text is says “@MayorKirkHNL”.

Okay, he’s the head of the city but this is a political, get-my-name-out-there plug.

As someone who spent thirty years with the old Civil Defense, seven as the Chair of the Civil Defense Commission and almost fifteen years with the City – most as a cabinet member – I can tell you Kirk Caldwell is not sitting there pecking this stuff out himself for your pleasure.

I think somewhere, someone said, “Hey, get the Mayor’s name in there so he gets some credit.”
For all I know maybe he was the one to order it.

A quick check of Nixie texts in other jurisdictions doesn’t show any politician’s name.

Apparently only in Hawaii.
I guess we’re special…or more egotistical.

One line of available – and maybe important – information is cut out so Caldwell can get his name mentioned.

Sorry to get into politics but this should make you grumpy too.

It’s Valentine’s Day.

If you’re a husband or boyfriend, you better have geared up with flowers or a dinner reservation.

At the very least.

It’s changed over the years.

It used to be both the lady and the guy swapped a mushy card and that was it.

I remember when I was a little kid and the teacher used to have everybody make “secret admirer” cards.

The cute guys got them all and us ugly kids got left out.

One teacher who did that, I found out much later, had been married 3 times.

No wonder.

Anyway, it then somehow became a major booster to the economy and you better be spending a lot of money on your honey or her feeling’s will be hurt and some TV reporter will interview lots of store owners complaining.

Trust me – you don’t want that.

I have a long list of wonderful and goofy gift ideas.

They won’t work.

Food, diamonds, flowers, food and candy is about it.

Women can be very traditional about this stuff.

Don’t even think of giving her a new pan unless you want to be wearing in on your head.

If the wife is reading this, which she rarely does, something electric, expensive and heavy is fine for me.

If you guys need something different for the little woman – try this.

I would suggest adding a quart of something 100 proof at the same time.

Consider it an investment in peace and happiness.

Happy Valentines Day.

Now go get a card.
At least.