Let’s talk about pizza.

Italy’s gift to the world along with Gina Lollobrigida and the Vespa.

Probably the best haute cuisine imaginable.

I don’t get it often as the wife prefers things like noodles and tofu or whatever the Loco Moco or Zippys’ special is that day.

Pizza usually only comes my way the nights she’s out ripping up the town with her friends, leaving me and the dogs to keep the home fires burning.

That and an occasional hug from one of the wife’s girlfriends are about the only highlights to my rather drab life.

Well, Dobash Cake, too.
Top of the food chain.

Pizza Hut is going the route of Zippys.
Cut the size, keep the price.

We have established how upset I am with Zippys for that maneuver.

The royal road to profits in the American financial system seems to be centered around making things smaller and charging the same – or more.

The marketing folks at Pizza Hut are calling it the “Skinny Slice” and it’s being tested in parts of Ohio and Florida.

I shall simplify for you:
Pizza Hut is using less dough and toppings.

But it’s keeping the same price.
Sneaky, huh?

The idea is to play to the folks that want a “lighter” menu.

Seriously – if anyone wanted a lighter menu they wouldn’t be eating pizza.

No one wants a lighter pizza.

It’s like lighter ice cream.
There’s nothing there – it’s blah.

History says pizza was invented in an Italian college dorm many years ago when some guys were hungry and the piled everything they had in the fridge, except the beer, on some old bread and cooked it.

The thing was so good the town’s Bishop ordered he be given twelve of those things every Christmas.

This led to the infamous “12 Days of Christmas” where they named each of the toppings after something else.

No one eats pizza to lose weight.
If you want to lose weight then eat lettuce and yogurt and semi-rabbit food.

The idea of eating pizza is to clog your arteries and apply 20 pounds to your waist.
Or your thighs if you put your flab there.

Diet pizza is an oxymoron.

Cutting back on the goodies is exactly…cutting back on the goodies.

Pizza Hut says it needs to reclaim its market share.

True.
Their pizza was crap up until a couple of years ago when the company admitted it and starting fixing things.

I’m leaning toward thinking they lost market share because of dumb ideas and cruddy pizza.

For a pizza lover it’s enough to make you grumpy.

Yesterday I was a little bored waiting for football to come on the TV.

So I wandered to that repository of cinema magic – YouTube.

The day’s selection de jour was car crashes.
The non-fatal kind.

Just about all of them were from Russia.

I suppose part of that was because it seems everybody in Russia has a dashcam.

I suppose part of that was because it seems everyone in Russia is a real lousy driver.

Stop signs, traffic signals and speed limits appear to suggestions only.

And they are rarely taken.

Same thing with passing on the right, running into stuff in front of you and turning from the wrong lane..

And they all get mad like that nurse lady who’s been in the news recently for going crazy in her car.

I wonder how she’s doing today?
Heh.

This, of course, leads to thoughts of the new cold war between the U.S. and Russia.

Have you ever seen pictures of Russian soldiers?

Sloppy.
And they wear their hats on the back of their heads.

How can anyone take an army of slobs seriously?

Which, of course, leads to people who name their kids with things that rhyme.

Why do people do that?

Hi, meet Jerry Harry.
It’s hard to stifle my giggles.

I always figured rhyming names belong in a kid’s storybook, nowhere else.

Why just there?
Because the kid reading it will probably be laughing his butt off at that funny name.

That keeps them occupied and not bugging adults.

Now put that name on a real person and you get the idea of what he or she is going to be living with the first 15 years of their life.

Then they start calling them self something else.
Except they are already psychotic

A judge a couple of years ago forced the New Zealand parents of “Talula Does The Hula” to change her name.

Good for that judge.

And that, of course, leads to football which is finally starting.

Nothing to be grumpy about today.
But the day is still young.

Apple’s rollout of new stuff is over.

Nothing to look forward to for the next 6 months.

Grumpy.