You may be surprised to learn there are four stages of life:

1) You believe in Santa Claus
2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus
3) You are Santa Claus
4) You look like Santa Claus

Yesterday I was number three – without the red suit.

Actually I handed out presents from Santa.
Maybe that makes me number four.

Whatever, the grandkids scored big time.
They are spoiled for life.

That’s what grandparents are supposed to do.

Let them run wild and crazy, give them too much and then send them home in a full frenzy sugar rush to drive their parents crazy.

I’d like to report I believe we were quite successful.

We got a very late start with the Christmas spirit this year, what with a very sick dog and the wife trying to juggle her social schedule with her girlfriends.

I ended the day without being grumpy once and that made everyone happy.

It was a good Christmas and here’s hoping yours was too.

Procrastination has a price.

Less than two days before Christmas and it’s time for us guys to finally get off the couch and go do some power shopping.

I tied to ignore it by buying on-line but nothing will get here in time now.

And no, it’s not really cheaper than buying locally.
Maybe the price is less but they get you with shipping costs.

Santa thinks shipping to Hawaii is like sending something to Mars.

I don’t put it off on purpose.

But when a guy comes home after work, it’s part of our DNA to change clothes and sit around moaning about how tired we are and need to rest in front of the TV.

And by the way – what’s for dinner?
Oops, I need a quick nap.

It’s just how things are and who am I to change the way of the world?

Now I find myself with 24 hours to take care of the little woman and a few other people.

The wife always says, “Don’t spend any money on me this year.”
Yeah, right.

A shiny new pan won’t work there.

The good thing is we get the best prices as the stores desperately toss out their best bargains to squeeze the last dollar they can before the After Christmas sales get going.

The bad thing we have to enter the fray to get any of it.

I’ve decided it’s all final proof that our society is about to collapse from absurd decadence into fully-deserved chaos and misery.

Little old ladies armed with pepper spray, big guys grabbing stuff that you grabbed off the shelf and some dummy in the middle of this with her kid in a stroller.

Can you imagine the shopping desperation some lady must be feeling to bring her kid into something like that?

So here’s to all us guys who go somewhere besides the hardware or sports store to grab something left over, wrap it in a newspaper with a stick on bow and put it under the tree for the wife.

If they only understood how far outside our comfort zone this is they’d appreciate it more.

Yeah, right.