One thing you hear old people grumble about is how things have changed.
“When I was 10 years old we walked 50 miles in the snow to get to school.”

Right.
That was then and this is now so let’s move on.

Wait a minute…
I got something to grumble about first.

I’ve kinda stopped watching the news over the past couple of years.

That’s quite a statement from someone who has over 10-thousand radio and TV newscasts to my credit and lived and breathed that stuff for 20 years.

There’s a balance problem and I’m not referring to “both sides of the story” type-of-thing.

I’m talking about male and female.

Watching Channel 4 (KITV) is almost like watching The View or wandering into one of the wife’s gatherings with her friends.

It’s way too female.

That’s not a sexist BS attitude about ability.
It’s a comment on presentation.

Channel Two isn’t any better on the weekends.

It’s about balance.

Thirty years ago it was all male and that was just as bad.

On the mainland they carefully staff their anchor desk with people of different races.
The idea is to reflect the community, and that’s the way it should be.

Using that formula, KITV must think Hawaii is 98-percent female.

I have a good idea why this is happening but I’m not interested in starting a news director gender war.

But I know what I’m talking about and those in TV news today will know I’m right if they back up a bit and honestly think about it.

Women make many of the spending decisions in the home and sponsors like big female rating numbers.

Plus there’s this idea that some babe on the anchor desk will attract male viewers.
Not really.

None of that should never sway any newsroom decision – but it happens whether anyone will admit it or not.

Putting guys only on the sports desk is just as biased as keeping women off the anchor desk 30 years ago.

And to be honest, I’ve never been a fan to dual anchors anyway.

A person can get whiplash jumping from one anchor to another unless it’s structured carefully, which rarely happens.

It also serves no useful purpose other than to say “we have two people” telling you what’s going on.

In case you don’t like one of our anchors, hey, we have another.

Is this going to change?
Of course not – at least not for a while.

There’s a lot more in play here than I mentioned.
And that makes me grumpy.

It’s getting close to that magical morning when I stumble out of bed, weave my way around the dogs, trip over some of the many throw rugs the wife likes to use to cover the wood floors and race into the living room to see what Santa left under the tree we have yet to put up.

The wife lately has been saying I’m a grump.

Of course that’s impossible, especially this time of year.
I am everything the Christmas spirit should be.

She’s just stressed out over shopping – something she usually lives for.

The wife says I’m too hard to buy for because I have everything.

That’s also not quite true.

She forgets new stuff is invented every year so that means I couldn’t have everything.

And I still have room in my garage.
That should be all the scientific proof necessary.

Nevertheless, I’m worried Santa may need some help when it comes to giving me the perfect gift under the tree.

There must be a bazillion new things out this year alone.

Not being one to leave things to chance, I’ve been putting my Christmas wish list together for Santa…

There’s the Hula Chair.

A 2,800 rpm motor under the seat wiggles your rear end at multiple speeds so your butt is going crazy.

The idea is tone the muscles and have a perfect tush.

I would be proud to have one.
I promise to be careful my butt doesn’t fall off.

In case Santa doesn’t have time to get the elves to whip one up, I’d be pleased for a pair of Underwear Gloves.

Santa knows it’s not cold here but the fashion statement would seriously make the wife cry with happiness.

She accuses me of having no sense of fashion, which we all know is not true.

This is sure to change her mind and make her proud to be seen with me about town.

And I’ll remember to tell Santa Claus in my letter about the plate of cookies left for him.

Chocolate chip, of course.
Which I might eat before going to bed.

This is such a great list I’m going to print it out and send it to Santa right away.

With a copy to the wife.

Then go out and make some room in the garage.

These are great.
Just click and sing along.

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